Sometimes, life just isn't fair.
By John Cosper
Coach Riggs- A basketball coach
Cutter- A basketball player, number 5
Miller- Cutter's teammate
Coach Riggs and Cutter are sitting in a chairs, stage right. Riggs is in a suit. Cutter is in a basketball uniform with the number 5 on it. He is holding a Gatorade. Another Gatorade is on the floor. Coach Riggs stands up, screaming.
RIGGS: Time out! Time out!
The Ref enters. He waves his arms in the air.
REF: Time out, Visiting Team!
RIGGS: (calls off) Miller, take a rest! (turns to Cutter) Cutter, you're in for Miller.
CUTTER: (jumps up) Yes, coach!
Miller runs on from stage left and takes Cutter's seat, drinking the other Gatorade.
RIGGS: Now listen, Cutter, this is gonna be a long game, and Miller needs to keep his legs. You
need to give me some quality minutes, and whatever you do, don't get into foul trouble.
CUTTER: Yes, coach!
Cutter starts to run past the Ref. The Ref blows his whistle.
REF: Blocking foul, number 5, visitors!
CUTTER: What??? I just got in the game! You can't call that foul on me!
REF: Yes I can! It's my job!
CUTTER: But I never touched the guy!
REF: You were reaching in!
CUTTER: How can I reach in? I just got in the game!
REF: Don't argue with me! I saw you reach in!
CUTTER: Whatever, man. Let's just play
Cutter turns to run off. The Ref blows his whistle.
REF: Foul, number five! Double dribble!
CUTTER: Double dribble? That's not a foul!
REF: Yes it is!
CUTTER: It is not!
REF: I'm the ref, not you!
CUTTER: You can't call a foul for double dribble!
REF: I can call a foul for whatever I want! (blows the whistle) Personal foul, number five, bad haircut!
CUTTER: Bad haircut??
REF: Where'd you cut that thing? You go to a blind barber, or did you do it yourself!
CUTTER: Stop calling fouls on me!
REF: Are you arguing with me, boy?
REF: (blows whistle) Technical foul!
CUTTER: Technical foul??
REF: Arguing with an official! That's a technical foul!
CUTTER: That's not fair!
REF: You want to see not fair? (blows whistle) Foul, number five, dirty sneakers!
CUTTER: Dirty sneakers?
REF: That's five, buddy! Now sit down!
Cutter walks back over to the chairs. Miller stands up and runs back off stage left. The ref
follows him. Cutter picks up his Gatorade.
RIGGS: Cutter, you were supposed to stay out of foul trouble! What happened out there?
CUTTER: (shrugs) My shoes were dirty.
Riggs snatches the Gatorade from Cutter.