Righteous Insanity

Writing with Maps

I pulled up a map of New Testament Israel last night, all in the name of comedy.

 

I was working on a scene at the Inn in Bethlehem. A couple from modern times is dropped into the bodies of the innkeeper and his wife, and they have a house full of complaining guests. The scene takes place at dinner, and there's a bit with a pair of customers complaining about the dinner. The customers were from out of town (in for the census, of course), and I needed a dish from another part of Israel that they could complain and say, "This is not how it's made."

 

Looking at the map, I saw that Galilee was to the north of Bethlehem. So I settled on Galilean Sea Bass.

 

Of course I didn't bother to do further research and see if Sea Bass was ever served in Galilee. Once I settled on Galilee as the source of the dish, Galilean Sea Bass just hit me and I ran with it. It sounded funny, and if any NT scholars were in the audience, none of them would be taken out of the story by my poor knowledge of geography.

 

Point is, maps can be a big help, whether you're plotting a course for Hobbits in Middle Earth or chronicling the footsteps of Jesus. And thanks to the Internet, maps of Jesus' time are a few clicks away. It's also a really insightful tool when reading the gospels to see where he traveled. Really makes the stories come alive.

Righteous Insanity: What we do best

The heart of Righteous Insanity has always been skits. I'm a fan of sketch comedy. I'm a fan of SNL, The State, Mr. Show, In Living Color, Monty Python, Nichols and May. Skits are what got me writing for ministry. It's what I've written the most, and it's what I sell the most. I've written skits for Sunday morning, kids worship, youth group, holidays, web videos, short films, and a hundred other purposes.

 

Skits are cheap. Skits don't require steep royalties. They don't require elaborate sets or much in the way of costumes and props. Skits are flexible. (They have to be, especially if you're in a church where the worship leader doesn't like to share the stage with actors - but that's another matter.) Skits are fun. Skits are a break from the ordinary. Skits wake people up - sometimes figuratively, but also literally.

 

Scientifically speaking, skits engage your audience more than a sermon. Skits (if they have dialogue and aren't reader's theater) engage the auditory and visual senses, making a deeper imprint. That's why you remember the Digital Short on SNL long after you've forgotten the sermon from Sunday morning.

 

Some people think skits are a waste of time. They find them silly, and beneath the dignity of the church (or just their own egos). I find these people a bit stuffy and weird. God didn't make us all musicians and advanced theologians. I don't think that's what he wants us all to strive for either.

 

Jesus taught by telling stories. Stories are the heart of drama - even skits. Skits are what I do best. If skits are what you love to do, give us a look, and drop me a line. I'd love to connect with you.

New Clive the Zombie movie!

"The Lonely Dead" is ready for release, but before we release it, I've set a goal of accumulating 100 fans on Clive the Zombie's Facebook fan page. If you're a fan of zombies, puppets, or some combination thereof, please go to Clive's Facebook Fan Page and become a fan. And share this link with your friends! 

Looking for a one act play?

I'm trying a little experiment. 

I've just posted five one act plays to the Sunday School Dropouts website. The five plays are free to download, print, and make copies for those of you looking for something to do with your church or school drama program. If you like the play and decide to produce it, a small royalty is requested. 

My hope is to give a few of these plays (some of which are personal favorites) a better chance of being not only read, but performed. Money's tight, and this is a chance for those of you on tight budgets to get a sneak peek at some fun and funny productions you might not have considered. 

The scripts are posted at www.sundayschooldropouts.com/plays.html 

New short film and new film page

Just made an update to the Righteous Insanity films page, making it easier to find what you're looking for and to identify what films will work with what themes. 

Also added a new film to the website (and youtube). Check out Log Eye by pressing play below! 

New skit book - It's NOT All Relative

When people believe there is no absolute truth, notions like sin and salvation become difficult concepts for them to grasp. "That's your truth," they respond. "If it works for you, great. But that's not what works for me."

 

The trouble with that line of belief, of course, is that it's completely false. There is absolute truth, and it is written down in God's Word. But how do you convince an unbelieving generation of this?

 

There's no more difficult obstacle to leading someone to Christ than relativism. I've been writing skits on the subject for years, and it seems it's not going away. In fact, the idea is taking deeper roots with each passing year.

 

In an effort to help student ministries break through this lie, Righteous Insanity and Sunday School Dropouts have put together an ebook with 10 skits that address the issue of relativism from a number of angles. The book is called "It's NOT All Relative," and if you're using drama in your student ministry, we want you to have a copy - for free.

 

Go to Righteous Insanity's Free Stuff page and you'll find "It's NOT All Relative" available for download in PDF format. You'll find lots of other free resources there as well, and you're welcome to download them all.

 

By the way, these skits are not for the feint of heart. They are funny, but they are also edgy. They were written specifically to speak to the unbelieving heart and leave an impression that will make them think - and listen.

 

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. No philosophy of man can change that, but it can and has hindered millions from finding that truth. We hope and pray that these skits will help you break through their unbelief and reveal the truth to them in a way they understand.

New skit - Fall of the House of Bricks

Fall of the House of Bricks

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS

The Three Pigs

Father Hog

The Big Bad Wolf

 

The Narrator enters. The Three Pigs and Father Hog enter as he/she begins the story.

 

NARR: Once upon a time there were three pigs. These pigs were the sons of a wealthy hog who owned the largest and most respected construction company in all of Fairy Land. When the pigs were fully grown, each one decided to set out and build homes of their own.

FATHER: Sons, I've been building houses for years. I know everything there is to know about building a solid home that will last and stand up to any test. So if you want my help...

PIG 1: Ehh, who needs ya?

PIG 2: Building houses isn't that hard!

PIG 3: We can do it on our own.

 

The little pigs walk away from their Father.

 

FATHER: Well, okay, but if you change your minds...

PIG 1: Beat it, Pops!

 

Father Hog exits.

 

NARR: Now the first little pig was a total fool. He was more interested in the things he could put in his home than what he used to put up his home. That's why he built a house out of straw.

PIG 1: That's right, baby, and with the money I saved, I'm gonna a jumbo-sized TV, a waterbed, and a solid gold toilet!

NARR: The second pig saw this and thought...

PIG 2: What an idiot. A house of straw? That will never last. But a solid gold toilet would be nice. I know! I can build my house out of sticks. Then I can still afford the solid gold toilet.

NARR: The third pig saw this and just shook his head.

PIG 3: You morons! You think straw and sticks are the building tools for a good house? I'm not gonna spare a single expense on my house! I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about building a house, and then I'm going to build the best house you ever saw!

NARR: The third little pig read every book there was on the art of framing, brick laying, electrical wiring, plumbing, and roofing. He spent hundreds of hours reading everything there was to know about building construction and hundreds more planning his dream house.

 

Father Hog enters.

 

FATHER: Nice job, son. Mind if I have a look at those?

PIG 3; Forget it, Pops. I don't need your help.

FATHER: But son, if you don't start by--

PIG 3: If I want your help, I will ask for it. Buh bye!

 

Father Hog exits.

 

NARR: Then, with his plans all made, the third pig built the strongest brick house you ever saw.

PIG 3: And Dad didn't think I could do it myself! I guess I showed him!

NARR: Well, I don't have to tell you what happened next. Along came the Big Bad Wolf.

 

The Wolf enters.

 

WOLF: Am I really bad? Is it bad for a carnivore to take the life of another creature? I don't have the digestive system to process fruits and vegetables, and the protein and nutrition I get from pigs--

NARR: Hey, Mr. Philosopher, this isn't about you. It's about them.

WOLF: Fine. But one of these days, I'd love the opportunity to--

NARR: Just blow some houses down.

WOLF: All right already!

 

The Wolf blows. Pigs 1 and 2 react as if their houses were blown in. The Wolf attacks them both and bites and kills them.

 

NARR: The Wolf destroyed the houses of straw and sticks and ate everyone he found inside.

WOLF: Is that a solid gold toilet? Awesome!

NARR: Then he set his sights on the house of bricks.

WOLF: All right, brick boy, open up.

PIG 3: You have to say the line first!

WOLF: I am not saying the line!

PIG 3: Please?

WOLF: No! I'm tired of playing the stooge!

NARR: Come on. Say it for the kids.

WOLF: Fine! Little pig, little pig... let me in.

PIG 3: Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!

WOLF: Then I'll huff and puff, blah blah blah.

 

The Wolf blows.

 

NARR: The Wolf blew as hard as he could, but he just could not blow down the house of bricks.

PIG 3: Ha ha ha ha! Loser!

NARR: But then, the Wolf noticed something.

WOLF: Hey! There's no foundation to this house!

 

The Wolf gets on the stage and begins to dig.

 

PIG 3: Hey, what are you doing?

WOLF: Digging!

PIG 3: You're supposed to go down the chimney!

WOLF: And get my tail burned off like some Warner Brothers cartoon? No way!

PIG 3: Stop digging!

WOLF: No!

PIG 3: You can't do this!

WOLF: Yes I can!

PIG 3: It's not right!

WOLF: I'm an apex predator! It's what I do!

PIG 3: But I read all the books! I spared no expense!

WOLF: You forgot to lay a solid foundation for your house!

 

The Wolf stands.

 

WOLF: And now, you're dead.

 

The Wolf bites the pig. Father Hog enters.

 

NARR: If only the little pig had bothered to ask his father for help, he would have learned...

FATHER: Before you can build your house, you have to lay a solid foundation. If there's no foundation, the house will never last. It may not be blown over by the wind, but it will never last.

NARR: The third pig didn't listen, and he paid the price. And thus ends the true story the three little pigs. 

 

The Wolf clears his throat.

 

NARR: Oh get over yourself.

 

Sleepwriting

It's always interesting when you fall asleep at the laptop. One time I fell asleep in the middle of a script. I woke up and read what I had typed in my near-sleep state. I should have saved it because it was a pretty random stream of consciousness piece of writing. It was gibberish, but it was a lot more fun than the time I woke up to a 100 page document - 80 or so pages of which was just "ZZZZZZZZZZ..."

 

Last night I fell asleep editing a scene for the new Clive the Zombie short, "Zombies R Forever." I remember trying to make myself quit because sleep-editing can be dangerous. You can delete things or cut things in the wrong place and generally make a lot of work for yourself when you go back to undo your mistakes. Today, however, I found I had cut several clips that I needed perfectly in my half-asleep state. Not sure how that happened, but I was able to finish the scene I couldn't finish last night in about 20 minutes.

 

The most embarrassing sleep-computing story would definitely be the time I fell asleep on Facebook. I woke up and found that I had posted a link to my book Company Man about 20 times on my writer page. Three people deleted themselves from my fan page - all because I sleep-spammed them.

 

Anyone else have a fun story to share?

Money and Ministry

This is a story about how a love offering almost destroyed the Righteous Insanity touring company before it ever really got going.

 

We did a gig at a local church that one of our members (4 of us at the time) were attending. We did it for a love offering, and at the end of the night, the pastor handed me an envelope with the offering money. I went home, counted the money, and made a quick call to one of the other members - who was at dinner with the other two and some family members - to tell them how much the offering was for.

 

Here's what happened next: some of the family members at the table began telling what they had put into the offering plate. Given that information, the group concluded that the offering should have been larger. One of the group members then concluded that I was holding back from the rest and under-reporting our income.

 

At that time, all proceeds from RI were being split equally among the team, after expenses. I had always been open about what our income and expenses were, but this dinner conversation led to a very angry confrontation a few days later, with me being openly accused of stealing from the group. The accusing team member did not believe me when I told her I had reported the offering accurately. She quit the group right there and stormed out. 

 

I was able to plead my case with the other two to their satisfaction, and some changes were made in the way we did business. I handed the finances over to one of the remaining team members so that I would not be the leader, director, and money man. She handled all transactions and kept open records of everything. The arrangement worked very well, and the group moved on to do some great ministry.

 

To this day, I wonder what I could have done differently. I don't believe anyone who gave was mistaken in reporting what they gave over dinner, but I've often wondered if the church didn't take a cut of the offering. That's their privilege, I suppose. They were our hosts, and they have their own bills to pay. But it's a bit dishonest to call it a love offering, leading people to give from the heart to support a cause or a ministry, if you're going to take a percentage for yourself.  

 

Whatever happened, it led to a very ugly incident involving only around $100 total. It's a clear example of how quickly, violently, and abruptly money can destroy a relationship and a ministry.

Five Questions with Yazz from Four Monks and a Nun

Yazz Fetto is a very funny man, and his comedy team Four Monks and a Nun is a very, very funny group. Unfortunately for us Americans, they're located across the pond, but it's been a real pleasure to get to know him (he's also an 80's Christian metal fan like me) and enjoy his group's work on Youtube. 

I asked Yazz to do my five questions survey. His answers are below. 

1. Saturday Night Live or Monty Python? 

Even though I am a Brit, I actually prefer SNL to Monty Python. Sure, SNL does have a lot of sketches that 'miss' as do all sketch shows but SNL produced so many of my favourite comedians: Chevy Chase, Dan Ackroyd, Steve Martin, David Spade, Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy...the list goes on. I love watching the old episodes and seeing these guys 'come of age' as it were.

2. What's your favorite skit you ever saw on a TV sketch show? 

Wow. Tough question. I'm torn between SNL's 'Jaws' spoof ('Land Shark') and 'Fork Handles' a sketch by the legendary British comedy duo The Two Ronnies in which every phrase said by the characters has a very funny double meaning. 

3. Is there an actor whose style or skill has influenced you most? Who and why? 

I can't single out one actor or actor/comedian who has influenced me the most. I like to think the following have influenced the way I perform although I do consider myself unworthy of comparison to them: Eugene Levy, Groucho Marx, Chevy Chase, David Spade and George Peppard. Why? I have watched a lot of their work repeatedly and can only assume it has therefore influenced me. 

4. Do you have a favorite on stage disaster story you'd like to share?

One or two... We did a gig once where the compere insisted on taking the names of each group on the bill beforehand. As the comedy evening went on, he got steadily more drunk. When it came time to introduce us he had completelty forgotten our name so just welcomed us on stage to a bemused crowd who had no idea who we were. Another time, we were doing a student show and the makeshift stage they set up for us collapsed midway through a sketch. That was an odd situation to bounce back from. It got laughs though...

5. What advice do you have for someone who says, "I want to be in a Christian comedy/sketch group for a living?"

My advice would be don't do it as I don't want competition! Ha! Well, I think if you want to make a living from comedy Christian or otherwise you are facing a tough road ahead. It's simply not easy, it takes endurance, fortitude and a very thick skin. It also takes quite a while before people will pay you enough to make a living from it. You will probably have to work another job and do comedy as well before you can live off it. If you are going to found a Christian comedy group or be a Christian comedian, the game does change quite a bit. I heard Oz Fox, guitarist for legendary Christian rock band Stryper, say in a recent interview that to be in a Christian group you do need to be called. God needs to be calling you to do it and that is essential. If God is backing you, everything will work out fine, some how, some way because when God is on our side, victory is assured. If you are going to be in any sort of Christian group, prepare to face a lot of opposition and for a lot of people to not like you or what you are doing. Having said that, God takes care of His own and He will ensure that you can make a living from it, once you have proven yourself faithful. All this very high and mighty talk reminds me that I have a long way to go...