Righteous Insanity

New skit - Strong Arm Evangelism

I'm reading Kyle Idleman's "Not a Fan," and a chapter I read this morning led to an interesting realization. Jesus pursues us like a romantic lover, but he wants us to choose to love him rather than compel us to love him back. Yet how do many Christians act when telling the world about Jesus? Do we go in like the good friend of the love struck Romeo to tell Juliet that he likes her, or do we go in like goon henchmen trying to strong arm people into the faith? 

So like always... I turned that thought into a sketch - one that ties in nicely with my own book Company Man. (Though I strongly recommend Not a Fan as well.)

Enjoy. 

Strong Arm Evangelism

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS

The Guy- Represents "You Know Who"

Jerry- The Guy's friend

Denise- A girl the Guy really loves 

 

 

Denise is sitting at a table, reading a Harry Potter book. She is wearing a nice knee-length skirt and shirt. There's a coffee with no lid (not hot!!) on the table in front of her. The Guy and Jerry enter and sit at another table with their own drinks. The Guy points at Denise.

 

GUY: There she is.

JERRY: (looks) That girl?

GUY: That's her.

JERRY: Wow. She's pretty.

GUY: I love her, Jerry. I really do.

JERRY: So why don't you go and talk to her?

GUY: I could, but I want you to do it.

JERRY: You want me to do it?

GUY: Yes.

JERRY: Why me?

GUY: (quickly, like a commercial disclaimer) Because the whole point of this skit is to illustrate the way Christians fail to properly share Christ's love with the world, and if I go over and talk to her, there's no metaphor.

JERRY: What was all that you just said?

 

The Guy looks at the audience, then back to Jerry.

 

GUY: My knee hurts. I can't walk over there.

JERRY: Oh, okay.

GUY: Good. Now get over there. 

JERRY: What do I tell her?

GUY: What I told you on the way here. I love her. I can't stop thinking about her. I'd pursue her to the ends of the Earth just to be with her. Can you do that?

JERRY: Sure, Guy. Anything for you.

 

The Guy nods. Jerry stands and walks over to Denise.

 

JERRY: Hey, you. You see that guy over there?

DENISE: (looks at the Guy) Yes.

JERRY: He likes you.

DENISE: Does he now?

JERRY: Oh yeah. He can't stop thinking about you. Matter of fact, he loves you.

DENISE: He loves me?

JERRY: More than anything in the world.

DENISE: That's so sweet.

JERRY: Matter of fact, he's go to the ends of the Earth just to be with you.

DENISE: Aww.

JERRY: Yeah, he really loves you. And he sent me over here to tell you he wants to have a relationship.

DENISE: That's very sweet of him.

JERRY: Yeah, it is. So why don't you be a good girl and go talk to him?

DENISE: I'd like to, really, but I'm not ready for a relationship.

JERRY: (taken aback) What?

DENISE: I'm not interested in a relationship.

JERRY: But he loves you.

DENISE: (polite as can be) I'd really rather just sit and read my book, if you don't mind.

 

She goes back to her book. Jerry starts to take on a darker tone, like a Mafia enforcer. He pushes her book down to make eye contact.

 

JERRY: I don't think you understand. He doesn't want a debate about it. He wants a relationship with you.

DENISE: I'm flattered, really, but I don't want a relationship.

JERRY: I think you do.

DENISE: No, I really don't.

JERRY: But he loves you!

DENISE: Will you please leave me alone?

 

The Guy watches in horror as Jerry becomes more hostile.

 

JERRY: No! No, I will NOT leave you alone! My friend over there went to a lot of trouble to find you. Now you get out of that chair, and get over there!

DENISE: No!

JERRY: I said get!

DENISE: I said NO!!!

JERRY: (yelling) You don't want to be loved? You don't want what could be the greatest relationship you could ever have?

DENISE: Just leave me alone, please.

JERRY: (screaming) Fine! You don't want to be with him? Don’t be with him! In fact, you CAN'T be with him because he doesn't want to be with you! You just stay there, and don't ever bother talking to him ever again, do you hear me? Why I wouldn't let you talk to him if you got on your hands and begged me! You don't deserve a guy like him! He could do way better than you any day! You read bad books, your skirt's too short, and you got too many nose hairs hanging out of that nostril of yours!

 

Denise gasps. The Guy smacks his forehead in embarrassment.

 

JERRY: Why don't you braid that thing and put a bead on the end of it, you lousy hippy!

 

Jerry grabs her drink and throws it in her face. He stomps back over to the guy.

 

GUY: (stunned, shocked, appalled) What... What…?

 

Jerry picks up his drink casually, shaking the dust off his feet (in the metaphorical sense).

 

JERRY: Sorry, Guy, she's just not into you.

New Christmas play available for fall

I'm putting the final touches on a new Christmas play, and I'm looking for a few youth/student ministry groups to give it a free test drive this fall. The play is a re-telling of the Christmas story, but not the one you expect to see at Christmas time. This story starts at the very beginning, with the fall of man, and traces the history of God's plan of salvation from generation to generation. A group of teens and their youth leader re-tell the stories of Adam, Noah, Abraham, Judah, Rahab, Ruth, David, and many in between, creating a larger picture of a loving God and the rebellious people he loved enough to die for. 

The play calls for seven characters - one adult, three male teens, and three female teens. It can also be performed by a cast of 4 adult males and 3 adult females. 

The play doesn't even have a name yet. In fact, I may be soliciting ideas from the folks who end up producing it this year. If you're looking for a play, this is a great opportunity to try something new and different that won't make even the tiniest dent in your budget. 

Please contact me at john@righteousinsanity.com for more information. 

 

Four Monks and a Nun

I LOVE these guys. Check out their other videos on Youtube after you watch this one. And please watch it. It's only 15 seconds. 

Company Man: Pre-screening for salvation?

I applied for a job in inside sales a few years back, a job that I knew I could do because I had done the job before. I had a very good first interview with the HR rep, followed by what felt like a very good job with two of the "team members" I'd be working with. The people were very warm and welcoming, and I felt like I had a foot in the door. 

 

I was then invited back to take a test - a psych profile. I took the test, shook hands, and went home. A week or so later, I got the form letter that I had been eliminated from consideration.

 

It's very likely the reason I wasn't selected had nothing to do with the psych profile, but ever since, I've wondered about that profile. What was it that came up that caused them to all of a sudden cut me out? Am I a psycho? A loser? One has to wonder about these things.

 

Whether we want to admit it or not, Christians do the same thing when it comes to inviting people in the church. Sure, we say we will welcome anyone. And if a family with special needs or someone living a lifestyle we do not approve of walked in the doors, we'd smile and shake their hands. But how many of us would actively seek out these people and invite them?

 

Christians are guilty of a lot when it comes to welcoming others in Jesus' name. We screen and select whom we want to share the gospel with based on any number of factors - not the least of which is how our fellow believers will judge us for associating with such people. The simple fact is we cannot say we are Christians, or Christ followers, or whatever you want to call us unless welcome all comers without prequalifying them.

 

Jesus went to the sinners, lepers, prostitutes, and tax collectors. We all know this. We all like to point this out when we're debating the gospel. But few of us live this truth ourselves. We're afraid our own faith and standing with God will be judged. That, or we are too judgmental ourselves.

 

That's why I want you to read Company Man, and share it with someone else. I believe in this book because I believe it's past time for us to stop screening people who need the gospel and learn to love our neighbors as Christ loved us.

 

The great miracle of the gospel is not that Christ loved the prostitures and the tax collectors. It's that he still loves and forgives the hypocrites.

Ministry Matters™ | Articles | Welcoming Special Needs Families

Stumbled across this article and had to share it. Please take the time to read this, and I encourage you to talk to your church about this as well. 

Ministry Matters™ | Articles | Welcoming Special Needs Families.

Top Sellers on Kindle for June

The top 3 sellers on Kindle last month from my fiction works: 

1. Demonica: Confessions of a Small Town Super-Villain

2. Left Overs: A Left Behind Parody

3. Company Man

Deal of the Month: Plays for Married Couples (and singles)

Christians are funny people. Here's an example of what I mean. Christians try to tell the world that it is God's design for marriage is for husband and wife to be united til death do they part, and they don't understand why the world laughs and ignores them. But how can you not laugh when the person telling you to stay married 'til death do you part has taken and broken that sacred vow multiple times?

 

No, not every Christian marriage ends in divorce. And yes, in some circumstances it is justified even by scripture. But far too many Christians are getting divorced for selfish, frivolous, and preventable reasons, and of those that do take their vows seriously, not enough are working to help others take theirs seriously.

 

The last few years I've written three plays on the subject of marriage. Those plays are available as a package from Righteous Insanity, and they are ideal for dinner theaters, date nights, Valentine banquets, engaged encounters, marriage retreats, and other couple-themed events. Each one runs about an hour, and each one focuses on God's plan for marriage in a unique way. Ordinarily, the package sells for $30, but for the month of July, it's only $5.

 

This is a very important topic that needs to be dealt with if we're to have any influence on our world in this area. We know God's plan for marriage. It's defined clearly in his Word. But until we take it seriously, no one is going to take us seriously.

 

Oh - and just so all you singles and singles ministers don't feel left out, a special price on "God Told Me to Break Up With You" this month. One of our most popular plays ever is only $5 through July 31. If you work with high schoolers, college kids, or single adults, believe me, this is a play you'll want to share with them!

Order and download the plays now from our website!