Righteous Insanity

Company Man: Parables in the work place

The first guy to tell a parable using the work place was Jesus. In fact, many of Jesus' parables took place in the "office." Of course in Jesus' time, the office was a vineyard, a farm field, and occasionally a banker's office because that's what the people knew. Jesus knew that such stories would leave images in his listener's heads that would cause the messages to stick. And while the work place has changed since Jesus' time, his parables still connect with today's 9 to 5 workers.

 

Like the parables of Jesus (and many of the modern day business parables written to address business issues), Company Man is set in an office. The story focuses on a true company man, a man who loves his job and his employer unconditionally. The problem is he is so zealous about his work place, he tries to force the same devotion on the employees in his office rather than allowing them to make the choice. Through the mentorship of a wise manager, he learns that it is not his place to force people into compliance, but to lead through example while accepting and loving the individuals for who they are and not who they could be.

 

Company Man was written for the long time believers, the weary pastors, and all those who long to see respect for the Lord restored to society. It's a reminder of the way the Lord first loved us - just as we were - and a call to love others in the same way.

 

There will be a day of reckoning for all, and the world will be held accountable for what they did with Jesus. But just as the world will be judged (by Christ, and NOT by us!), we as believers will be judged for the way we represented Christ. 

 

Company Man is available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com. If you are interested in purchasing for a group or in bulk, please contact john@righteousinsanity.com to get a special discounted price.

New skit - Closed Doors

Closed Doors

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS

Sally- A Christian

Gabe- A "guide"

 

A number of closed doors are on stage, staggered and scattered. Sally is on stage. She stays upstage of the doors. She walks around slowly, remembering every one of them. These were moments, opportunities that God had placed in her life that she missed. Now the doors are closed forever, and Sally is left with regret. Gabe enters and watches her compassionately. For dramatic effect, this scene can be played with the actors facing away from the audience, focusing the attention on the doors.

 

GABE: It still bothers you, doesn't it?

SALLY: Yes, it does.

GABE: Think about it a lot?

SALLY: All the time. I know I probably shouldn't.

GABE: It's not a bad thing, to remember the past.

SALLY: Does every one have so many?

GABE: Some more, some less. But everyone has their share.

SALLY: Does everyone dwell on them as much as I do?

GABE: Not enough.

SALLY: Some days, I wish I could get rid of them. Make them go away.

GABE: They are here for a reason.

SALLY: They were here for a reason. But that time has passed. 

GABE: Yes.

SALLY: (stares a moment, silent) So many doors. I wish I knew what was behind them.

GABE: You know I can't show you.

SALLY: Can you at least tell me if someone else was there to open the door after I passed?

GABE: No.

SALLY: Not even one?

GABE: It would only grieve you more if you saw. Trust me, it is by his mercy these doors remain closed.

SALLY: It's what I deserve. Isn't it?

GABE: You know full well just how much he's protected you from what you "deserve."

SALLY: I know, but when I think about the choices I made, they all seem so... pointless. (she walks to one door) I had things to do. Important things, I thought. (she walks to another do) Sometimes I just wanted time to myself. Other times I... (walks to another door) I just wasn't thinking. He must have been so disappointed in me.

GABE: True. But He knows you are weak. He knew there would be unopened doors.

SALLY: He should have just given up.

GABE: That's just not in his nature.

SALLY: But He knew I would fail him! 

GABE: He also knew He couldn't do a thing through you until you were broken. Only when you learned just how far you fall short could He begin to work through you. 

 

Sally touches the nearest door.

 

SALLY: I wish there was another way. If I could go back and open just one...

GABE: The only door you can open is the one straight ahead.  

 

A spotlight falls on one door that opens, leading off stage.

 

SALLY: Then why does He allow all these doors to remain?

GABE: Can you think of a better motive to keep moving forward?

 

Sally looks around, then turns and walks through the door as the lights fade out.

 

Prayer and "Keeping the band together"

Back in the day when I ran the youth drama team (the Dramamaniacs) at my church, I had a prayer list that I kept in my daily devotional book (usually My Utmost for His Highest). The list was broken into 8 parts. One part included my family and close friends whom I prayed for daily. The other 7 parts were labeled Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, etc., and each day was devoted to praying for a specific group of people: my fellow youth leaders, the junior high drama kids, senior high kids, graduates, etc.

 

I don't recall when I stopped keeping and keeping up with that list, but it was long gone by the time I had the Righteous Insanity touring company going. I thought about that fact the other day, and I can't help wonder if such a list might have kept that ministry going longer. The travel was great, and there are many good memories. But there are some unfortunate ones as well, things that could have been helped by fervent prayer, outside accountability, and a little humility.

 

I think all of us can look back at times in our lives where we weren't where we needed to be and wonder what opportunities were missed. The temptation is to look back with regret and lament the past. The challenge is to let the memory of the past drive you to do better not just in the future, but the present.

New skit - 491 Times

This script ties in nicely with Company Man, but it's also a nice stand alone piece for introducing a sermon on forgiving others and that tricky passage about seven times seventy. You always wondered what would happen if someone got up to 490 times, right?

 

491 Times

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS
Dave- An angry boss

Kip- A brown-nosing assistant

Jensen- A carefree employee

 

A desk is on stage - a very messy one covered in papers. There's also a trash can beside it. Dave enters, drinking his coffee. Kip follows on his heels with a clipboard as Dave checks the desk and then checks his watch.

 

DAVE: Well, well, look at what we have here. An empty desk. It's 8:05, and no sign of Jensen! Kip, you see Jensen this morning?

KIP: Not today, sir.

DAVE: Did he call in?

KIP: (checks his clipboard) Uhh, no, sir.

DAVE: Then he's late. Again. Which makes this the...  How many times does this make?

KIP: According to my count, this would be ther 491st time.

 

Dave gets a gleam in his eye.

  

DAVE: 491?

KIP: Yes, sir.

DAVE: Are you absolutely sure?

KIP: Positive.

DAVE: (in jubilation and exaltation) I can fire him! I can finally fire Steve Jensen!

KIP: Yes, sir, you can!

DAVE: Oh what a happy day! You don't know what this means to me, to be able to fire somebody. Actually fire someone after so many years! Used to be I could fire a man for looking at me funny. But ever since we got that new Chairman and his "Jesus is our CEO" policy, it's been a nightmare.

KIP: To be fair, sir, morale has improved, customer satisfaction is improved, and sales have climbed every quarter.

DAVE: Meanwhile, my blood is boiling on a daily basis because I have to keep on forgiving the incompetant morons that work in this office for their mistakes! Not once, not twice, not even three times, but--

KIP: Seven times seventy - or as we've already discussed 490 times.

DAVE: Kip, don't interrupt me! I told you never to interrupt me! (sadistically) How many times have you interrupted me?

KIP: (marks a tally on his clipboard, says nervously) Only three hundred seven, sir.

DAVE: Gah! You can't run a business this way, forgiving people left and right. You have to have a heavy hand. You have to have authority. People have to be scared of you! A man who has to forgive five hundred times minus ten before he can fire you is just not scary!

KIP: Very poetic, sir.

DAVE: Thank you.

 

Jensen enters.

 

DAVE: Ah, here he comes. Hold my coffee.

KIP: Yes, sir.

DAVE: I am going to enjoy this.

JENSEN: Good morning, sir.

DAVE: Jensen, you're late! This is your 491st strike, and I think you know what that means.

JENSEN: I do?

DAVE: YOU'RE FIRED, JENSEN!!! (to Kip) That felt so good! (back in character) Get your stuff together and get out!

JENSEN: I will, sir. But with all due respect, you can't fire me.

DAVE: Of course I can! Seven times seventy is 490. You've been late 491 times. YOU'RE FIRED!!!!

JENSEN: But sir, I don't work for you any more.

DAVE: I know you don't because YOU'RE FIRED!!!!

JENSEN: Sir, I don't work for you because... I took a different position.

DAVE: You what?

JENSEN: I took a job at the corporate office.

DAVE: You did?

JENSEN: I gave you a letter two weeks ago, remember?

DAVE: Letter? What letter?

 

Dave turns to Kip with an angry glare. Kip smiles and pulls an envelope out of his coat pocket.

 

KIP: I'm sorry, sir. But this is only the 97th--

DAVE: Just give it to me!

 

Dave takes the letter an opens it.

 

DAVE: "Dear Mr. blah blah blah... Effective immediately, taking a new position in the corporate IT department as head of... network abuse enforcement?" What does that mean?

JENSEN: Well, this is a little awkward, sir, but it means that I'm here this morning to talk to you about your Internet usage.

DAVE: Internet usage?

JENSEN: Of the 957 people employed by our firm, you're one of the top three in terms of bandwidth theft.

DAVE: What do you man, bandwidth therft?

KIP: I think he means surfing the Internet.

DAVE: Oh.

JENSEN: It seems you've spent an inordinate amount of time watching videos and... oh, that's interesting. Reading wrestling news blogs. 

KIP: Sir, I didn't know you were a wrestling fan.

DAVE: Shut up, Kip!

JENSEN: Now as you know, per our "Jesus is our CEO" action plan, the company will forgive any single infraction up to seven times seventy.

DAVE: (impatient) Right, right. So how many times have I violated the Internet policy?

JENSEN: Twelve thousand, nine hundred sixty eight.

KIP: Holy smokes, you are so dead.

DAVE: Look, Jensen, are you sure those numbers are right? I mean, given this is the first time anyone's been here to talk to me, are you sure it wasn't 489 times?

JENSEN: No, sir, we've checked and double checked. But since you mentioned it, you have hit the web page with that dramatic squirrel video 489 times alone.

 

Dramatic musical stinger as Dave looks at the audience, mocking the famous "dramatic squirrel" Internet video.

 

JENSEN: I'm really sorry, sir, but you're fired.

DAVE: Fired??

JENSEN: I'll wait in the lobby while you clean out your desk.

 

Jensen exits.

 

DAVE: Can you believe that? Of all the legalistic...

 

Dave storms off. Kip watches him go.

 

KIP: Bad news for him.

 

Kip rips the tally sheet off his clipboard and wads it up.

 

KIP: Clean slate for me.

 

Kip tosses the paper in the trash and exits.

Company Man: How do you see the people around you?

Question 1: Why do good employees flock to certain companies and not others? Because different companies treat their employees differently.

A company that sees employees as cogs in the wheel, totally replaceable, replaces a lot of parts all the time.

A company that values people and understands that people are unique individuals, not simply parts lying in a box, will build loyalty, trust, and long-term relationships with its employees.

Question 2: Why do certain churches do a better job reaching the lost?

Some churches believe that all Christians should be the same. We must dress the same, act the same, live the same, listen to the same music, and vote the same. As Steve Taylor once said, "If you want to be one of his, you gotta act like one of us."

Some churches realize that God has made everyone unique. They also understood Jesus' approach to the lost. Jesus went to the people where they were and accepted them in that condition. Zacchaeus, Mary Magdalene, Matthew the tax collector, the woman at the well - Jesus didn't wait for these people to change their clothes and their lives before he let them in the church. He went out and found them and embraced them, just as they were.

Yes, God wants us to repent. Yes, God wants us to live his way. But the first step in leading people to that kind of change is loving people HIS way.

Company Man is a story about changing the way we view others. It's not about glossing over sin or letting new believers live how they want. It's about opening our hearts to loving those who are different than us. It's about letting go of pre-requisites for new believers and realizing the only pre-requisites that matter are the ones the Lord places on HIS people - to love our neighbors unconditionally, the way he does.

Company Man is on Kindle and in paperback on Amazon.com. If you're interested in sharing the book with your church group or small group, please email Righteous Insanity to inquire about bulk purchase pricing.

The Sensitive Christian Man: Prejudice

New episode is online this week, and the new DVD with all 24 episodes is now available. Get the DVD or the scripts at http://shop.righteousinsanity.com

Getyoked presents Jenny

The amazingly funny Madge Midgely, an old friend of mine, just shot this one for getyoked.net. I've been waiting for the right actress for this spoof, and I finally got her. Enjoy. And check out getyoked.net for dozens more of these. 

New Skit - A Diabolical Plot

A Diabolical Plot

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS

Clay- A comic book fan

JACK- A comic book fan who is more than he seems

 

Clay is sitting at a table in a coffee shop reading a Batman graphic novel. Jack walks past him, coffee in hand. He sees Clay’s book, pauses, and stops. Clay looks up.

 

CLAY: Can I help you?

JACK: Oh, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help notice what you were reading.

CLAY: Huh? Oh… yeah. Gotta love Batman, right?

JACK: It’s cool, it’s cool. I’m a Bat fan myself. Still reading after all these years.

CLAY: Really? I haven’t actually ready any for a while.

JACK: Oh, The Killing Joke! That’s a great one too. That’s the book that made me decide the Joker was the greatest villain of all time.

CLAY: You think so?

 

Jack sits.

 

JACK: I know so! Paralyzing Barbara Gordon, and that was just the beginning!

CLAY: Yeah, he’s a bad one. I don’t know, though, I’m still partial to Lex Luthor.

JACK: Luthor was a good one. Can’t really argue with that.

CLAY: But I’ve always been more of a Superman fan, too.

JACK: Well, Superman, Batman, whomever you love, it’s the villains that make them great.

CLAY: What do you mean?

JACK: You ever watch any Bond movies?

CLAY: Most of them.

JACK: Which ones do you remember best?

CLAY: Dr. No. Goldfinger. You Only Live Twice. Those stick out.

JACK: And you know why?

CLAY: Because Sean Connery was the best.

JACK: No way! Pierce Brosnan was ten times the Bond Connery was. But you don’t see him as such because he never faced any true super-villains. I mean who was the bad guy in Tomorrow Never Dies? Or The World Is Not Enough? Do you remember any names?

CLAY: No.

JACK: Of course not. But you remember names like Goldfinger, Dr. No, Blofeld, Irma Klebb, Odd Job.

CLAY: And Jaws.

JACK: See? That’s what I’m talking about.

CLAY: Still, great villains or no, they all went down in defeat.

JACK: You know why, right?

CLAY: I suppose you have a theory.

JACK: Because there’s only one way to defeat a true hero: stop him from becoming a hero in the first place.

CLAY: How?

JACK: By being there the moment he chooses to become one.

CLAY: You mean going back in time?

JACK: If that’s what it takes. 

CLAY: Tricky proposition.

JACK: But it’s the one true way to defeat your enemy. I mean what if Luthor could have been there the day Kal-El decided to answer the call and be a hero to the people of Earth? What if the Green Goblin could have swatted the spider that bit Peter Parker? What if the Joker could have kept Bruce Wayne from ever seeking vengeance for his parents’ death? Or prevented their deaths in the first place? No Batman, nothing to stop him from making Gotham his personal playground of sin!

CLAY: But if there was no Batman, another hero would have taken his place. Right?

JACK: You so sure of that?

CLAY: Seems logical to me. If there was no Batman, someone else would have had to be the hero?

JACK: But who would have had his motivation, much less the financial means, to stand up to the likes of Joker, Penguin, Catwoman, Riddler, and so many others? I’m telling you, if there’s no Bruce Wayne, there’s no savior in Gotham!

CLAY: It’s a diabolical idea.

JACK: One you’ll never see in the comics. Because if you did, there would be no heroes.

CLAY: I guess not.

JACK: Well, I’ll leave you to your book. I’ve bothered you enough.

CLAY: No, no, it’s okay. I was actually procrastinating as it was.

JACK: Oh yeah?

CLAY: Yeah. Buddy of mine asked me to speak to the youth group at church this weekend. Sunday school.

JACK: Really? You teach Sunday school?

CLAY: Me? No, no. But my buddy’s been after me a long time to help out. He thinks I’ve got the stuff, and they do need help.

JACK: So why not do it?

CLAY: I dunno. I’m not really comfortable speaking to kids.

JACK: You’ve done that before?

CLAY: No, never. And I don’t really want to.

JACK: Kids can be a tough audience.

CLAY: I really wish I hadn’t said yes. I mean, what do I have to talk to them about?

JACK: Comic books?

CLAY: (shrugs) I guess. But how’s that supposed to teach them about God?

JACK: Oh, I dunno. A lot of religious symbolism in comic stories.

CLAY: Yeah? I guess that’s true.

JACK: Then again, you know your skill and comfort level. If you’re not used to working with kids or preparing lessons…

CLAY: Yeah.

 

Clay thinks a moment, then pulls out his cell phone and dials.

 

JACK: But on the other hand, we were just talking about heroes answering the call. If this is a calling, and if this is the moment of decision, who’s to say there will be someone else to—

CLAY: (on phone) Dave? It’s Clay. Listen, I’ve been giving it a lot of thought… I can’t do your class Sunday… I know, I know, but I just don’t think it’s for me… Okay, bud, thanks for understanding. And, thank you for asking.

 

Clay hangs up.

 

JACK: Eh, who am I kidding? Someone else will do it.

CLAY: I’m sure they will.

 

Clay gathers his things.

 

CLAY: Thanks for the conversation. Always happy to talk to a true believer.

JACK: Same here, man. Have a good one.

CLAY: You too.

 

Clay gets up and exits. Jack takes a sip of his drink. He stands and turns to leave. A red, pointed tail falls out the back of his coat.

 

JACK: Oops, haha. (hides the tail quickly, then looks at the audience) Never saw it coming.

Wingman World Premiere in 15 Days

The world premiere of Wingman is in 15 days at the Village 8 Theatre in Louisville, Kentucky! This is the first feature film for Jonathan Vanderford and Fredicus Productions and was produced from a script and story written by yours truly. Wingman is the story of a super hero sidekick who is forced to reexamine his life and search for his place in the world when he is unexpectedly laid off by the great hero Captain Python. 

Tickets are available for purchase from the Fredicus Productions website. 

New Skit! Two Plus Three

Do any of these guys sound like your pastor? If you, you might need a new church...

Two Plus Three

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS

The Good Teacher

A Wishy-Washy Teacher

A Fundamentalist Wacko Teacher

A Seeker-Friendly Teacher

 

A chalkboard of markerboard is on stage. On the board, the word 'ADDITION" is written at the top, with the math problem "2 + 3 =" written out below. The Good Teacher enters in slacks and a button up shirt with no tie.

GOOD TEACHER: The great thing about math is that everything is black and white. There are no exceptions to the rules like in grammar. There's no room for argument or opinion, no hidden biases like you'll find in social studies or science. It's objective. It's right or wrong. It's simple. Let's take this problem here. Two plus three. A simple addition problem that asks us to do is take the number two and three, combine them, and determine what larger number we come up with. Think of it in these terms. (holds up two fingers) If I am holding two fingers in the air and I then hold up one, two, three more, how many fingers am I holding up? (counts) One, two, three, four, five. The answer to the problem is five. 

The Good Teacher exits. The Wishy Washy Teacher enters wearing slacks, a turtleneck, and a coat. He is casual and direct in his opinions and flip, snide, and condescending toward those who disagree with him.

WISHY WASHY TEACHER: Okay, class, we have a problem on the board asking us to find the solution for two plus three. But I think the real question is not, "What is the sum of two plus three?" But, "Is this really a problem?" Does it really matter if there is a right or wrong answer to the "problem" of two plus three? Now there are some people who will tell you that two plus three equals five, and only five. But that's just not true. Two plus three CAN equal five, but only if you want them to. It's all up to you really. If you want to say two plus three equals six, or two plus three equals seven, or even two plus three equals dollar sign, then you are just as right as the person who says two plus three equals five. Why? Because that's what you believe! And don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're wrong for saying two plus three equals dollar sign because frankly, anyone who would say that is a right wing zealot who probably shoots small animals for fun.

The Wishy Washy Teacher exits. The Fundamentalist Wacko Teacher enters, already sweating profusely, in a suit one size too small with dark rimmed glasses. He carries a beast of a textbook in hand and speaks at loud volume throughout.

FUNDAMENTALIST WACKO TEACHER: Two plus three equals five! Do you know why? (holds up a text book) Because that's what it says right here in this book! This is no ordinary book written by ordinary men! This is the teacher's edition textbook, 1947 revised edition, with answer key! That's right, children, all the answers you'll ever need to your mathematical quandaries are right here, and only here. Why? Because everyone knows the 1947 edition was edited by Howard Wolfbane Pinkerton, the greatest mathematical mind in the last thousand years! If it's in the book, then it is true, and any man who casts doubt upon this book will suffer the wrath of summer school and possibly repeating the second grade! Two plus three is five! Always has, always will! You want to count it up on your fingers, go ahead! But make sure you use your right hand, because the left hand is of the devil, and any one who counts on his left hand will be cast into the lake of fire when report card day arrives! 

The Fundamentalist Wacko Teacher exits. The Seeker-Friendly Teacher enters. He wears a stylish shirt, jeans, and sandals.

SEEKER-FRIENDLY TEACHER: Two plus three. Two plus three, that's a pretty simple problem, isn't it? The question is, is there a simple answer to the problem? Friends, I believe there is a simple answer to this problem, and answer that is as old as time itself. But I'm not going to tell you right now. Why? Because that's not what I'm all about. I'm not here to force the solution to this problem on you. I know many of you have been beaten down with answers all your life. You're tired of having the answers forced on you. I'm not going to force any answers upon you. If you would like to know the answer to two plus three, then I invite you to join me after class in the next room, where there will be coffee and donuts and friendly people who will be happy to tell you what two plus three is - or just do life with you if you prefer. If you're not ready for that, that's okay. There's no pressure here. You folks just sit back, relax, and enjoy as our drama team comes to share a funny little sketch about counting to five.