Since Mother's Day has snuck up on me, I decided I better get this out there quick. Hope someone looking for a last minute resource finds it handy. You can get other handy skits for Mom's and Dad's day in the Mommas and Poppas Skit Collection from Righteous Insanity. Enjoy.
The Sounds of Motherhood
By John Cosper
CHARACTERS
Host- A commercial spokesperson (male or female)
One- A female kid voice
Two- A male voice (speaks as a kid and a dad)
Three- A male voice (dad)
The host is at center stage alone. Speakers One, Two, and Three are off stage with mircophones.
HOST: Mother's Day is here, a time to honor dear old mom with gifts like cards, flowers, candy, and other nice things. It's a chance to give back and say thank you for all the hard work a mother does. But let's face it: those giving the gifts often have no idea just how much those gifts are deserved. Am I right, Moms? That's why Mom's Records is proud to present, The Sounds of Motherhood. Available on CD and digital download, The Sounds of Motherhood is a three volume set that perfectly captures the life of a mother. Volume one features the timeless classics of early childhood such as:
ONE: Up please!
TWO: I need some more milk!
ONE: I hafta go potty!
TWO: No!
ONE: I want my blankie!
TWO: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
ONE: Will you stop touching me?
TWO: But I don't wanna!
ONE: Can I have some candy?
TWO: I want a cookie!
ONE: I hate broccoli!
HOST: Yes, your family can experience majestic sounds of early childhood in a way they've never heard before. And the joy continues on volume two: the adolescent years.
ONE: Can I have five dollars?
TWO: Why can't I get my ears pierced?
ONE: I need a cell phone!
TWO: Why can't I get my nose pierced?
ONE: That's not fair!
TWO: Why can't I get my belly pierced?
ONE: You don't understand!
TWO: Why can't I get my tongue pierced?
HOST: And then there's volume three: treasured heirlooms. Who could forget sounds like this?
Play a series of sounds of things breaking and shattering.
HOST: And remember these precious memories?
Play a few more shattering, breaking sounds, ending with one particularly nasty crash.
HOST: That one cost a pretty penny, didn't it? And if you order now, you'll receive a bonus album featuring dear old Dad.
TWO: I'll fix it later.
THREE: Not now, the ball game's on.
TWO: I'll cut the grass later.
THREE: Look, honey, Die Hard is on again!
TWO: I'll call the plumber later.
THREE: Honey, I just bought a motorcycle.
TWO: Are you mad at me?
HOST: Order the Sounds of Motherhood for your loved ones, and share the joys and sounds of being a mom with the ones who made is so memorable.
Sound of breaking glass.
ONE: Mommy, he's touching me!
TWO: You never said I couldn't pierce my eyebrow!
THREE: Check it out, honey, Die Hard 2!
ONE: I'M GOING TO THROW UP!!
HOST: And while you're at it, pick up a copy for yourself. As crazy as these moments in life may be, one of these days, you're going to miss them.
One makes a sound like she is throwing up.
HOST: Well, most of them.
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