Aspirin
By John Cosper
CHARACTERS
Mort, Dale, and Linda - Business people on a plane
The Pilot (voice)
The scene takes place on an airplane. Dale sits in the aisle seat, facing the audience. He is reading a magazine, minding his own business. Mort is beside him, a little disheveled, suffering from a headache. Linda is seated a row behind them - unseen because of the high back seats. An airplane intercom chimes, and the pilot speaks.
PILOT: Uhhhhhhhhh, ladies and gentlemen, uhhhhhhhhhhh, we're about an hour from our final destination, uhhhhhhhhh, San Francisco, California. Uhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm going to turn off the fasten seat belts sign, uhhhhhhhhh, in the event anyone needs to, uhhhhhhhhhhh, move about. Just remember to, uhhhhhhhhhh, keep them fastened while you're in your seat, uhhhhhhhhhhh, and as always thank you for flying with us.
Mort lets out a long, painful groan. Dale looks over at Mort.
DALE: Something wrong?
MORT: Oh, man. I've just got a headache.
DALE: Ouch.
MORT: It's a real pounder too. Wow. Kinda feels like there's a metal poker inside my head, you know? Just pounding away.
DALE: Yeah, I know the feeling.
Dale goes back to his magazine - not really that interested. Mort keeps on.
MORT: Oh man. It's not here, or here, but right here.
DALE: I see.
MORT: Right here. Right on the other side of here.
DALE: Uh huh.
MORT: Oh man. I'm sorry, it's just, it really hurts.
Linda leans over the seat.
LINDA: Excuse me. I couldn't help over hearing. Would you like an aspirin?
MORT: (a little indignant) An aspirin? No thanks.
LINDA: Are you sure? Because I have some.
MORT: That's quite all right, ma'am.
LINDA: Well if you change your mind--
MORT: I said no!
Linda sits back down. Mort lets out a long groan.
MORT: Oh man, this is really bad. You know I used to get these back when I tried to give up coffee.
DALE: Huh.
MORT: Caffeine, you know? If I don't have it, I get a pounder right about three in the afternoon.
DALE: You need some coffee?
MORT: No, no. I had three cups this morning. Urrrrgggghh.
DALE: Sounds like you need something.
MORT: Yeah, I need some relief.
Linda stands up.
LINDA: I'm sorry to bug you again. But if you'd like some relief, I do have a solution.
MORT: Lady, I don't want to be rude, but keep your solution to yourself. Okay?
LINDA: But I only wanted--
MORT: Yes, I know what you want, and I don't want any of it, okay?
LINDA: But if you have a headache, all you need is a couple of aspirin, and--
MORT: Hey, what did I say? Keep it to yourself, right? (to Dale) Didn't I say that?
Dale looks up.
DALE: Uh, yes...
MORT: I don't need your aspirin. Keep it to yourself.
LINDA: Sorry to bother you.
Linda sits. Mort rests his hands in his face. After a pause, he moans loudly and painfully.
MORT: It hurts to bad! I wish I could make it stop!
DALE: I hear you.
MORT: I can't even think straight, it's so painful! Throbbing, banging, throbbing...
DALE: (frustrated, looking up from his magazine) You know, if it really hurts that bad, maybe you should consider...
MORT: Consider what?
DALE: Nothing. Forget it.
Dale goes back to his magazine.
MORT: No, no, tell me. What were you going to say?
DALE: (he sets the magazine in his lap and reluctantly says) I was just going to say... It wouldn't hurt to, you know... try an aspirin.
MORT: (glares at Dale) Did you not hear what I said to that lady?
DALE Yes, I heard it.
MORT: I don't want an aspirin.
DALE: You say that, but--
MORT: I don't believe in aspirin, okay?
DALE: It was only a suggestion.
MORT: Look, I want to get rid of this pounder. Really! But if you think for one minute that I'm going to do something as ignorant and as putting a tiny round tablet in my mouth in the blind, irrational faith that it's going to do me some good...
DALE: It works for other people.
MORT: Weak-minded saps who can't handle life on their own. Think they need a magic pill to take away all their problems. Sorry, pal, I ain't buying it.
DALE: I see.
Mort sticks his face in his hands again. Dale ponders for a moment.
DALE: So all those people who believe in aspirin. They're just ignorant and weak.
MORT: Yep.
DALE: But a strong person, an educated person, doesn't need aspirin to take away their pain.
MORT: Yeah.
DALE: Yeah.
Dale goes back to his magazine.
DALE: So how's that working out for ya?
Black out.
this was perfect to use with our Sunday School lesson today!
Posted by: www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnuC2Skemj29evUUStVsx7mqvc-LuwFrx0 | January 23, 2011 at 04:19 PM
That makes my day. Thanks for letting me know!
Posted by: John Cosper | January 23, 2011 at 04:25 PM