Righteous Insanity

Christmas Production Memories, Part One

My first Christmas production ever was in the fifth grade. My class was conscripted to perform the Christmas story for the first and second graders at my school, and I was cast as a shepherd along with my best friends Ben, Steve, and Donny. I remember all of us wearing bathrobes with towels over our heads tied by robe belts.

The teacher had instructed us to cower in fear at the appearance of the angel, just like the real shepherds, then fall to our knees. Well, during the actual performance, when the angel appeared, I put on the best terrified, cowering, averting-my-eyes performance you ever saw. Then I caught sight of the other fellas - stone faced, on their knees, no fear or awe of the Lord about them. In my awkward, fourth graderness, I gave up on my Oscar-winning performance and went along with the fellas who had hung me out to dry. To their credit, the audience never laughed.

Human Flannelgraph

For those too young to remember, and those who never grew up with it, Flannelgraph was a unique storytelling method by which evangelical kids from the 50's through the 80's learned the stories of the Bible. You have a flannelboard on an easel and a bunch of cut out people, animals, props, etc. with something on the back (like sandpaper) that allows them to stick lightly to the background. As the teacher tells the story, the characters are placed on the board and moved around. I can still see the kindly, smiling face of King Jehoshaphat contrasted with the evil, scowling mug of King Ahab on the flannelboard in Mrs. Smith's 2nd grade classroom.

You need to know this to go with me on this concept. You see I've been thinking about the good ol' days of flannelgraph all afternoon, pondering writing a sketch or a story or something to commemorate this unique Christian medium. I think I've got it: Human Flannelgraph.

You build a big wall at about an 80 degree angle, maybe 10-12 ft high. You cover half of it with flannel - or maybe velcro material. You set a trampoline or two in front of it. You dress your "actors" up in costumes with sticky or velcro on them. As you tell the story, the actors run on, bounce off the trampoline, and BAM! King Jehoshaphat appears. Or maybe Jesus as the good shepherd. Throw a few stuffed animal sheep up there, you have the parable of the good shepherd. You can even make your flannel figures talk - well, those that are played by humans anyway.

Sure, it's kind of stupid and a little bit dangerous, But really, is it any dumber than some of the stuff we do in churches these days under the heading "drama?" Some youth pastor looking for the newest, extreme, crazy idea is gonna hit this blog and go, "MAN!" (swig of Mountain Dew) "WE GOTTA DO THIS!" And when he does, I can only hope he sends me a video, because dadgum, I wanna see this in action.

Fluffy 3 Update

I once had a youth group send me a copy of the play "The Pizza Boy" on a DVD. The youth group had chosen to begin the play with a slide show that set up a lot of the characters, and they made just an awesome choice for the theme music: "Something to Believe In" by Poison.

 

When you see someone take something you wrote and bring it to life who really "gets it," it's a thrill and a blessing. The same can definitely be said for all the footage I have seen thus far on Fluffy 3.

 

Maybe it's the previous experience several of these folks (Bob, Erica, Denny, Herschel, Jason) have had with working on Fluffy sets, but the spirit of Fluffy is definitely alive. Ten scenes are now on the computer, assembled, with three more to go. (One scene is in the can; one is being re-shot; and a third, written this week, has yet to be filmed.)

 

We're definitely adding to the great legacy of Fluffy screamers. Sarah Driver's death scene is one of the loudest yet. Leslie Rodgers, Katie Stanley, and Kayla Perkins have also provided some nice "scream your lungs out" moments. All in all, the body count is higher than ever. And hey, there's even a little blood this time around!

 

With a few scenes still in the works, I'm not even gonna speculate on a completion date, much less when and where we might premiere the final piece of the Fluffy trilogy. My plan this time is to send it around to the film festivals around the region, then release a DVD by next fall with the entire trilogy and a bunch of extras. In other words, no mass Internet release this time, so if you want to see it, you gotta get out to the film festivals where it's playing.

For your reading enjoyment

What kind of stuff does a sketch writer write when he's not writing sketches?

THE SHELL COLLECTOR

Imagine a world where a seemingly benevolent corporation has perfected a method of cloning human tissues suitable for transplantation. Not just organs and tissue, but limbs, fingers, skin... anything you can imagine. But beneath the corporate facade is a dark secret: the cloned tissues are harvested not from petri dishes, but fully cloned humans - "shells" to their creators - kept in secret labs and raised until they are needed.

The Shell Collector explores the darkest possible future as far as human genetics and cloning, following the story of Max Rogan, a bounty hunter hired by GeneTex Corporation to recover stolen property - human clones - that have been liberated by anti-cloning factions. Going deep undercover Rogan discovers a number of shocking secrets that force him to question everything he believes about cloning and the dignity of human life.

Could it happen for real? With every passing day, it becomes more and more possible.

 

TOLERANCE: ALIENS, VAMPS AND OTHER LOUSY DINNER GUESTS

What would it be like if aliens not only lived among us, but demanded political correctness and the abolishment of all science fiction that depicts aliens as being "bad?"

Would you kill a stranger if it meant getting your life-long dream?

What would it be like to share a dorm room with a vampire?

Will the telemarketers of tomorrow beam into your home through teleportation? 

No, it's not The Twilight Zone, but it is a twisted and entertaining collection of short stories that break down genres and (occasionally) have something spiritual to say. Tolerance will take you from a world of super heroes that nobody wants, to the outer reaches of space, and a dozen strange places in between.

 

DEMONICA: CONFESSIONS OF A SMALL TOWN SUPER-VILLAIN

Hitler wanted to be a painter. Castro wanted to play baseball. Like so many evil villains before her, Demonica had a humble beginning in a small town in Iowa. So after she escapes the destruction of her lair when her arch-nemesis War Eagle crushes her plans for world domination, Monica Deluna heads for her hometown to visit her roots and maybe spent Christmas with her Mom.

But after happy reunions with family and old friends, Monica learns she's not the only visitor in town. Old enemies come calling to collect on old debts. And even the great but inept War Eagle manages to track her to her birthplace. Will Demonica be forced to pay the piper, or does Christmas in Iowa hold the possibility for redemption, even for her?

Demonica is a short read but a powerful story told by both the super-villain and War Eagle. As a special bonus, the book includes an excerpt from the memoir of Demonica's mentor Pops Bender, a life coach responsible for nearly every major super-villain in the last fifty years!

All three books are available on Amazon.com; or, you can get them from the books page at www.johncosper.com

New Skit: A Wacky Little Devil

Stick with it... it's not what it appears, just like the subject tries to be with us. 

A Wacky Little Devil

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's nothing new that the devil has become a parody in our society. It's also no secret to those who are in Christ that this is exactly the way he wants it. If there's nothing (and no one) to fear, then why does a person need Jesus? Satan wins by making himself a joke. We as Christians need to remember - and remind others of - the term Peter used to describe him: the enemy.  

 

A counter is stage right. A desk with a swivel chair is stage left. Satan, in a red suit and horns and tail, sits in the swivel chair, facing upstage. Glen is at the counter with an empty box of cereal, trying to pour some. Mike enters.

 

GLEN: Mike, how many times do I have to tell you? Don't eat the last of my cereal and put the empty box back!

MIKE: I didn't eat your cereal!

GLEN: You didn't?

MIKE: You know I hate that cereal. It's disgusting.

GLEN: Well if you didn't eat it, and I didn't eat it, who did?

 

Both guys sigh.

 

GLEN/MIKE: Satan!

 

Satan swivels around. He laughs.

 

SATAN: I'm such a devil.

 

A catching theme song plays.

 

JINGLE: He's a naughty little devil and that's a fact.

A little bit silly and kinda wacked.

He'll make you laugh on a gloomy day

He's the devil, he's the devil, and he's okay!

 

Song ends.

 

GLEN: Satan, did you eat my cereal and put the box back?

SATAN: I cannot tell a lie. Oh who am I kidding? I'm the father of lies.

GLEN: You know I need my breakfast in the morning!

SATAN: I'm sorry, Glen. The devil made me do it.

MIKE: You are the devil.

SATAN: I know. Aren't I a naughty boy?

GLEN: Whatever. I'll grab a donut on my way in.

SATAN: Have a good day, Glen!

MIKE: Bye.

 

Glen exits.

 

MIKE: Now, Satan, my new girlfriend is coming by. You promise not to embarrass me?

SATAN: Mike, when have I ever embarrassed you?

MIKE: Well, there was the time you switched my Coke with rum at grandma's birthday. And the time you got me to date two girls at once and they found out about it. And graduation night.

SATAN: Ohh, did I do that?

MIKE: Look, just promise to be nice, will ya?

SATAN: And if I do, what do I get in return?

MIKE: What do you want?

SATAN: Oh, I dunno... Your soul? (wacky laugh) Ha ha ha ha.

 

There's a knock on the door.

 

MIKE: Okay, fine, have my soul. Just don't embarrass me.

SATAN: You won't even know I'm here.

 

Satan exits. Mike answers the door. Laura enters.

 

MIKE: Hey, honey.

LAURA: Morning. Looks like someone forgot to shower.

MIKE: I just got back from my run. 

LAURA: Mike, this is a nice place.

MIKE: Thanks.

LAURA: Did you decorate this yourself?

MIKE: No, my roommate did.

LAURA: Glen? He decorated this?

MIKE: No, not him. My other roommate.

LAURA: You keep mentioning this other roommate, but you don't say much about him. Is he here?

MIKE: I think he went out.

 

There's a loud crash off stage.

 

LAURA: What was that?

MIKE: Oh, that must be Glen in the kitchen.

LAURA: That can't be. I saw Glen on his way downstairs. Looked like he was in a hurry too.

 

Another loud banging.

 

LAURA: Is that the third guy?

MIKE: Yeah, I guess it is him.

LAURA: Well can I meet him?

MIKE: Oh, you don't want to meet him.

LAURA: Yes I do!

MIKE: Really, he's a bit anti-social. And he smells bad. I mean like sulfur.

LAURA: Come on, it can't be that bad.

 

Satan enters with a plate full of chocolate cupcakes.

 

SATAN: Good morning, kids. Anyone care for a Me-Food Cupcake?

MIKE: Oh no.

LAURA: What kind of cupcake is it?

SATAN: Me-Food. Oh, excuse me, Devil's Food. I don't believe we've been introduced.

LAURA: Laura.

SATAN: Lucifer. Or Satan. Or the Devil. Or you can call me by my old college nickname, Scooter.

LAURA: Your roommate is the devil?

SATAN: (nudging Mike) Only when he forgets to clean the bathroom. Ha ha ha. Just joking, Mike. He's no devil. I am.

LAURA: But... but THE devil?

SATAN: In the third degree burned flesh. You want some milk with that cupcake?

LAURA: I, uh...

SATAN: Wait right here.

 

Satan runs off.

 

MIKE: Sorry, I wanted to prepare you for--

LAURA: That's the devil.

MIKE: Yep.

LAURA: Lucifer. Satan. Hades!

MIKE: Yeah, that's Scooter.

LAURA: Mike, how long have you been living with the devil?

MIKE: I dunno, four years, maybe five?

LAURA: Don't you know he's dangerous?

MIKE: Who, him?

SATAN: (off stage) Hey, who drank all of my Slim Fasts?

MIKE: Come on, he's harmless.

LAURA: He is not harmless. He's luring you into a false sense of security. He makes you think he's this sweet, cuddly guy, and them bam! He hits you when you least expect it.

MIKE: With what, his copy of Twilight?

 

Satan enters with a glass of milk.

 

SATAN: Oh, I know you're not making fun of my favorite book again.

MIKE: No, never.

SATAN: Here you go, honey.

 

Laura takes the milk.

 

LAURA: Thank - oh wow, it's hot.

SATAN: Again? Darn. That walk from the fridge to hear is just too far. I can't ever seem to serve anything cold. Remember that ice cream bar at Glen's birthday?

MIKE: How could I forget? The carpet cleaning cost over three thousand bucks.

SATAN: Lucky for you, Glen had the money to pay for it. Even luckier, he sold me his soul to get the money to pay for it. (exits, giggling)

MIKE: He's such a rascal.

LAURA: Mike, you need to get out with me. Now!

MIKE: Laura, this is my place.

LAURA: And you're in grave danger as long as that thing is around.

MIKE: That thing is my friend, and I am not leaving.

LAURA: Then I am!

 

Laura storms for the door.

 

MIKE: Come on, Laura. (standing) Laura, wait!

 

Mike exits after her. Satan enters.

 

SATAN: I'm gonna fix some salad for lunch. How many should I...

 

Satan sees everyone is gone. There's a squeal of tires off stage. Satan rushes to the window and looks out. He then walks to the desk and the phone, and picks up the phone.

 

SATAN: (very serious, business-like) It's me. The first one should be down any second. Expect the other one by dinner. NO mercy.

 

Blackout.

Twilight Fans - A sneak peek at Stephenie Meyers' next story!

Stephenie Meyers prepares to do for another famous character type what she did for vampires. Check it out on Sunday School Dropouts' website:

Read Nordic Moon Here!

New Christmas Skit

Your Father Is Waiting

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS

Brian, Lisa, Andrea- Staff members at a nursing home

Mr. Clark- An elderly resident

 

Spotlight on a desk or counter at stage left. Brian is at the desk. Lisa walks up with a clipboard in hand.

 

LISA: Brian?

BRIAN: Evening, Lisa.

LISA: I was just checking the shift roster. Why is Andrea still here?

BRIAN: She didn't clock out?

LISA: I just saw her in Mr. Clark's room, so I'm assuming she didn't.

BRIAN: Really? (checks his watch) Is it that late?

LISA: It's ten-thirty.

BRIAN: Not the hour, the month. It's December 23rd.

LISA: So?

BRIAN: Mr. Clark is getting ready for Christmas.

 

Spotlight off on stage left. Spotlight on, stage right. Mr. Clark sits in a chair next to a table. He is elderly, and his hands are crippled. Andrea is in a chair on the other side of the table, taping a wrapped gift. Several wrapped presents are on the floor in front of a tiny tree. Some tubes of wrapping paper and shopping bags are in front of the table.

 

ANDREA: Now who was this for?

CLARK: Jim.

ANDREA: Jim.

CLARK: Jim's a big fisherman. You think he'll like it?

ANDREA: Are you kidding? My husband bookmarked this on the Bass Pro website. He's going to love it.

CLARK: Your husband fishes too?

ANDREA: Oh yes, he loves it.

CLARK: Good. I heard good things about it when I was shopping for him.  

 

Mr. Clark pulls a DVD set out of the bag.

 

CLARK: I bet you can guess who this is for.

ANDREA: The Simpsons, season eight. Must be Amanda.

CLARK: It's her favorite show.

ANDREA: I know. You buy her a new season every year.

CLARK: Thank goodness they keep making them, right? I don't know what I'll do if they ever cancel it.

ANDREA: Let's hope that doesn't happen, huh?

 

Spotlight out, stage right. Spotlight on, stage left.

 

BRIAN: Every fall, Mr. Clark gets online and Christmas shops for his kids. He spends hours on the computer, day after day, until he finds the right gift. Then he and Andrea sit down to wrap them the night before Christmas Eve.

LISA: How long have they been doing this?

BRIAN: Long as Andrea's been here. Another nurse did it for five years prior to that. He loves Christmas. And he's crazy about his kids.  

LISA: I know, I've heard him. How many kids does he have?

BRIAN: Eight or nine. I can never remember.

LISA: That's a lot of presents.

BRIAN: That's not counting their spouses and all the grandkids.

LISA: He shops for all of them?

BRIAN: And he goes all out. Spares no expense. He lives for his children.

 

Spotlight out, stage left. Spotlight on, stage right. Andrea is finishing another package.

 

ANDREA: How many teddy bears does she have?

CLARK: Oh, goodness, I don't know. I don't even think she knows. Her house is just full of them!

ANDREA: I'd love to see it.

CLARK: It's a lovely house too. Of course, I haven't been out there myself for a while.

ANDREA: Maybe you can make a trip this winter.

CLARK: If Dr. Crowe will let me travel.

ANDREA: Maybe I can talk to him, work something out.

CLARK: Oh, don't worry about it. Suzanne's as busy as the others. I don't like to impose. Besides, I get to see her in two days, right?

ANDREA: (hesitates, then) Yes. Yes you do.

 

Spotlight off, stage right. Spotlight on, stage left.

 

LISA: I suppose we could reserve one of the meeting rooms for him. If he's got that many visitors coming, they won't want to cram into his tiny room.

BRIAN: Don't bother, Lisa.

LISA: Why not?

 

Brian is silent.

 

LISA: His kids are coming, right?

BRIAN: Every year he shops for them. Every year, he decorates, he wraps, he goes to the outer limits, hoping to see his kids come back to him. Every year, he waits. Alone. His kids aren't coming. They never do.

 

Spotlight out, stage left. Spotlight on, stage right. Andrea sets the last two presents beneath the tree.

 

ANDREA: How does it look?

CLARK: What do you think? Your eyes are better than mine. 

ANDREA: I think it's perfect.

CLARK: (sighs) Good. When the kids get here, they'll be so excited.

ANDREA: I know I would be.

CLARK: Thank you, Andrea.

 

Mr. Clark pulls a small package out of a bag.

 

CLARK: This one's for you.

ANDREA: Mr. Clark, I'm just doing my job.

CLARK: Take it. Far as I'm concerned, you're one of my kids too.

 

Spotlight off, stage right. Spotlight on, stage left.

 

BRIAN: Nobody knows why his kids rejected him. Or why they continue to stay away. The irony is it just doesn't matter. He has so much love for them, he'd take them back in a heartbeat. Breaks your heart to see a father with so much love ignored by his children. I don't know about you, but I'd give anything to have a father like him.

 

Who wins?

A common line I hear from fellow believers these days is, "Well, at least we know who wins in the end."

 

If you believe the Bible (and Revelation), it's indisputable that Christ will indeed rule over Heaven and Earth one day. It is also beyond dispute that those who accept Christ will live with him forever in Heaven. But if our definition of victory means vindication for our side and defeat for the other side, we are NOT thinking with the mind of Christ.

 

Christ defined what winning means for believers when he said, "Go and make disciples." Whenever we lead someone to Christ, that's a win. Whenever an atheist comes to believe, that's a win. Whenever God is able to work past our shortcomings to reach the lost through our meager efforts, that is a win.

 

Any time a sinner perishes without knowing Christ, that's a loss. It mean we have failed to live out the gospel. It means we have failed to be Christ to someone Jesus died for. And lest we forget, Christ died for EVERY man, woman, and child ever born: the pagan, the atheist, the socialist, the fascist, the totalitarian, the bigot, the womanizer, the racist, the mean, the rude, the crude, the hateful, the criminal - even hypocrites like us.

 

Don't look to the end of times as a "win" over people who are evil, mean, and wrong. If your victory means the damnation of others, you need to look to the example of Christ who, even on the cross, forgave those who cursed him. "Father forgive them. They know not what they do."

V

If you're a fan of science fiction, and a Christian, you need to be watching V.

 

V is not a Christian show. Nor was its predecessor, the 1980's mini-series (that spawned a sequel mini-series, a TV show, and even comic books). The original V was a metaphor for Nazi Germany and the way people willingly surrendered to a totalitarian regime. This new incarnation is about a threat more relevant to today's culture: our need for a Savior, and the blind trust we will put in anything or any one who resembles that Savior.

 

The basic plot is much like that of the original: a reptilian alien race disguised as humans arrives in giant ships, promising peace and prosperity. But these visitors arrive in a time of turmoil and chaos, and they promise to deliver us from the ailments afflicting our society.

 

The majority of people are quickly taken in by the V's, with many joining up with them or bowing to them in devotion. Only a few people refuse to blindly place their trust in the alien visitors. And of course, we soon learn there is tremendous reason to be skeptical about the visitors.

 

Many people were quick to label the series as a metaphor about Obama. But as the show's producers pointed out, the show was conceived during the waning days of the Bush administration. If Obama and Bush have one thing in common, it's a legacy of voters who had "buyer's remose" that they ever voted for them once they started enacting policies.

 

But the producers are not bothered by people who tie the show to Obama or Bush. They're largely content with people finding their own interpretations - especially those drawn to the show's spiritual themes. One of the central characters is a Catholic priest who has seen his church all but die out. Then the V's arrive, and the church is filled with people who want answers as to what's going on and whom they can trust. 

 

If the show stays the course with these themes (and if viewers tune in), this could be a very interesting and powerful show. Regardless, it's nice to see science fiction that makes you think about deeper issues on television twice a week.

 

The other show I speak if is Joss Whedon's increasingly wonderful "Dollhouse." But that's a subject for another day.

Thought for "Heck" Week

It's dress rehearsal week for "Get Smart" at Christian Academy. Once again, the words of Tom Stoppard come to mind from his screenplay, "Shakespeare in Love." I'm paraphrasing here, but you get the gist.

"Allow me to explain the nature of theatre - it is a series of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster."

"So what do we do?"

"Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out in the end!"

"How?"

"I dunno. It's a mystery."