Righteous Insanity

Simple things that might change the world

Turn off the Powerpoint this Sunday. Pull the hymnals out of the back of the pew and sing some of the classics.

Look for common ground in other people, not disagreements.

Stop forcing your non-Christian friends to watch sub-par Christian films; instead, learn to look for God's truth revealed in other films. (Ex. The "desire gives birth to sin; sin leads to death" motif in every horror film ever made.)

Turn off your favorite partisan political commentator and pray - really pray - for your country. Ask the Lord to remove your biases, and to learn to love those you disagree with. If he can do it, so can you.

Don't argue about global warming or the environment. Just shut up and put your trash in the garbage.

Hijack a truckload of Joel Osteen books on Audio CD, and replace the CD's with copies of Jonathan Edwards "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God." (Add your favorite, fluffy, pseudo Christian feel-good book to this list.)

Turn off that reality show, celeb gossip show, etc. and pray for the people who made you tune in in the first place. They need it. So do you.

Do your next Bible study, small group meeting, or missions project some place that (a) isn't your church, (b) isn't a private residence, and (c) doesn't have a beach, arcade, or amusement park adjacent.

Have a book burning. Burn every top selling Christian book you've bought the last ten years. Then for once open up and read your Bible.

Just some thoughts for the weekend.

New Skit for Kids with an Autumn Theme

A Corny Skit

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS

The Colonel, Janet, Curly - Ears of corn

 

The Colonel yells from off stage.

 

COLONEL: Atten-hut!! Listen up, troops! The day of harvest is at hand! He who has ears, let him hear!

 

The Colonel, Janet, and Curly run on stage, dressed as corn cobs.

 

JANET: What do you mean, he who has ears? We ARE ears!

CURLY: I though we were corn!

JANET: We're EARS of CORN!

CURLY: We are? (looks around) Is there such thing as an eye of corn? Or a leg of corn? Or how about a spleen of corn?

COLONEL: Enough of that smart talk, soldier! The harvest time is finally here!

CURLY: It is?

COLONEL: Affirmative!

CURLY: Oh boy! (thinks a moment) What's the harvest?

JANET: It's the time when the harvest workers come out to cut down the corn.

COLONEL: That's right! After months of rain and sun and rain and sun, the fields are ripe. Soon, the one who owns the fields will send his workers out to harvest us.

CURLY: It's not gonna hurt is it?

COLONEL: Maybe a just little.

CURLY: Then I don't wanna be harvested! I wanna stay right here.

COLONEL: You listen to me, soldier! Where there's no pain, there's no gain. You're gonna get harvested right along with the rest of us! Is that clear? 

CURLY: Yes, my Colonel!

JANET: Colonel? Why did you call him Colonel?

COLONEL: Well, I'm not a General.

JANET: That has to be the corniest joke ever.

CURLY: Aw shucks.

COLONEL: Now that's the corniest joke ever!

CURLY: Hey, Colonel, what happens if the harvest workers don't come?

COLONEL: Impossible. The harvest workers will always come when they're needed.

CURLY: I know, I know, but what if they didn't come? What would happen?

JANET: It would be bad.

CURLY: Why?

JANET: Because we'd all die!

CURLY: Die? I can't die! Look at me! I've got a strong stalk, green leaves, yellow kernals.

COLONEL: Sure, you got all that going for you now. But if the harvest time passes and no one comes... you're gonna wither up and die.

CURLY: I am?

JANET: We all are! That's why we need the harvest workers to come out while we're ripe!

CURLY: Well, how long do they have? Are we talking days? Weeks? 

COLONEL: At ease, soldier! The ruler of the harvest won't let us down! I know he's sending his people out to get us even as we speak. 

CURLY: What what if they don't listen? What if they're afraid? What if they never come?  

 

A skit for Roman Polanski

Just a reminder, folks: those Hollywood actors who keep telling you what's moral and right and politically correct are the same wise souls who believe the world should forgive statutory rape if the perpetrator is an artistic genius. 

Roland Lopanski Comes Home

By John Cosper

 

CHARACTERS

Brenda- A reporter

Woody Fallen- A director

George Looney- An actor

Roland Lopanski- A murderer

 

BRENDA: Good evening, this is Brenda Williams reporting live from LAX, where we're witnessing history in the making. After more than two decades as a fugitive, the great film director Roland Lopanski is returning to American soil a free man. I'm sure many of our viewers remember the incident twenty-three years ago that made Lopanski a wanted man, when three eight year old children who were trick-or-treating were shot by the eccentric filmmaker on his front porch. Lopanski fled to Europe, Asia, and even Africa, where the CIA finally caught up with him spearheading a campaign of genocide against and oppressed minority. But before the US government could bring the law upon his head, the Hollywood community rose up to his defense. With me now is one of the stars who lobbied for Lopanski's release, an acclaimed filmmaker in his own right, Woody Fallen.

 

Woody enters.

 

WOODY: Hello. Nice to meet you.

BRENDA: Woody, tell us why prosecuting this man for the murder of three children was wrong.

WOODY: Well, look, Brenda, people have to get over this idea that we celebrities are like them. The rules that your ordinary people live by - your factory workers, your plumbers, your dermatologists - they just don't apply to us. We're artists, and we have to do our thing or else, you know, we just can't be creative.

BRENDA: I understand you've had your own problems as of late.

WOODY: Yes, a lot of people didn't understand when I left my sixth wife for her prize dairy cow, but Clover and I are in love, and we're very happy to say we're expecting a little bundle of half-human, half-bovine joy in a matter of weeks now.

 

George enters with a small gift.

 

GEORGE: Hey, Woody.

WOODY: Hello, George.

GEORGE: Here's a gift for Woody Jr.

WOODY: Oh thank you.

GEORGE: My best to Clover.

BRENDA: I don't have to tell our viewers at home who this handsome hunk is. It's Oscar winning actor and Sexiest Man Alive, George Looney.

GEORGE: Thank you.

BRENDA: George, do you still believe the government made the right choice in pardoning Mr. Lopanski for the murder of three kids?

GEORGE: Look, we're all sad about the kids, but what's the greater crime here? Depriving the world of three small children, or depriving the world of twenty-three years of films by Roland Lopanski? The man won four Oscars in three years. How many more would he have won if we hadn't committed this crime against art?

BRENDA: Thank you, George. And it looks like the plane door is opening. A flight attendant is coming out, and now a man... is that Lopanski?

 

Gunshot.

 

GEORGE: Yes, that's him. 

WOODY: Welcome home, Roland! Welcome home!  

 

Roland enters, carrying a gun.

 

ROLAND: Thank you, thank you. It's good to be here.

BRENDA: Excuse me, Mr. Lopanski, but did you just shoot that flight attendant?

ROLAND: She wouldn't give me a third highball.

WOODY: Don't you hate those stupid rules on planes?

ROLAND: They do not know who I am! I am Roland Lopanski!

GEORGE: Welcome home, old boy.

ROLAND: You, George Looney, I hear you are making another Oceans movie.

GEORGE: That's right. We start shooting Oceans 14 next week.

ROLAND: That's what you think.

 

Roland shoots and kills George.

 

BRENDA: You shot George Looney!

ROLAND: I did it for art! I hate those movies!

WOODY: Genius! Sheer genius!

BRENDA: So, uh, Mr. Lopanski, what do you plan to do now that you are home?

ROLAND: First, I am going to go shoot prosecutor who tried to put me in jail. Then I have list of all the bloggers who said I should be in jail. I am going to shoot them as well. And in between, I am going to make a movie about a woman on a journey of self-discovery.

WOODY: I smell Oscar!

ROLAND: Of course you do! I am Roland Lopanski!

WOODY: Hey, Roland, look, the Olsen twins are here to audition for your film.

 

Roland shoots off stage twice.

 

ROLAND: They do not get the part.

WOODY: Come on. I'll take you to dinner. Then we can go shoot my ex-wife.

ROLAND: Sixth wife? Woody, when will you learn?

 

Roland and Woody start to exit.

 

BRENDA: So, Roland Lopanski is back. Back in America, back to making films, and back to killing people. (getting angry) I don't know how you folks at home feel about it, but if you ask this reporter--

 

Roland walks back to Brenda, aiming the gun at her.

 

BRENDA: (backtracking in fear) I could not be happier. This is Brenda Williams, on the run in Los Angeles.

 

Brenda drops her mic and runs off.

Is this the end of Human Videos???

Captivating headline, isn't it?

I've gone back and forth on this for the last few years, but I've decided once again to put the Human Videos website (www.humanvideo.info) up "for sale."

Human Video is a very popular form of drama used in many churches and youth groups across the country. I've written a few myself ("Criminal," "DC-10," and "Iron Man" are all on the website), and yes, I've directed a few. But HV is not exactly a passion for me. I'm a script guy. I like dialogue and word play, and I've never been big on pantomime.

As a result, the site is rarely (if ever) updated. There are new HV's showing up on youtube and tangle and other video sites daily, with more being created in churches across the country. HumanVideo.info averages about 100 hits a day itself, but as I said, it's just not a passion. Plus I have too many websites to keep updated as it is.

My hope is that somewhere out there is a web-saavy HV enthusiast who has been looking for an opportunity to share what they do best with others on the web. I'll transfer the domain ownership to them, and provide them with all of the content currently on the site so they can set it up with their own hosting service. From there... well, it's all up to you. Re-vamp it, re-design it, whatever. It's your site, your ministry, your passion.

I'm not asking any price for the rights to the domain; I'll let you have it. You just need to take over paying the domain fees and pay any transfer fees to establish your own site. You're not going to get this good a deal from a domain squatter, I assure you.

The domain name is paid up through August of 2010, which means there's about ten months left until doomsday. Unless I can find someone to take it off my hands, I will simply let it lapse and go away.

So there you go, HV fans. Spread the word, and if you decide this might be a project for you, email me at john@righteousinsanity.com to discuss how we can make it happen.

New skit for Halloween!

The Jack-O-Lantern Skit

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS

Dale and Marv - Jack-O-Lanterns

 

From off stage, voices are heard.

 

MARV: Hey, let’s try in here.

DALE: In where?

MARV: This door, over here.

 

Dale and Marv enter dressed as Jack-O-Lanterns with big, funny smiles.

 

DALE: This does not look like the way to the pumpkin patch.

MARV: Let's just see where it leads.

DALE: Do you have any idea where we are?

 

Marv stops when he sees the audience.

 

MARV: Whoops.

DALE: What?

MARV: I think we took a wrong turn.

 

Dale sees the audience.

 

DALE: Uh oh!

MARV: (to Dale) Boy, this is awkward, huh?

DALE: What are we gonna do?

MARV: Leave it to me. (to the audience) Eh, hi there. Sorry, we're a little lost. Just trying to find the pumpkin patch.

DALE: What are you doing?

MARV: Just being polite.

DALE: To them?

MARV: Yeah. Why not?

DALE: Look around you, Marv. Do you realize where we are? 

MARV: (looks around) Looks kind of like a church.

DALE: Exactly! We're in a church, with Christians!

MARV: Yes?

DALE: Christians don't like us, Marv.

MARV: I thought Jesus loved everybody.

DALE: I know he did. But they don't.

MARV: Come on, Dale, that's not fair. I'm sure a lot of them love everybody just like Jesus.

DALE: But we're not everybody. We're Jack-O-Lanterns.

MARV: So?

DALE: So??? We're symbols of Halloween! 

MARV: I know that.

DALE: Christians hate Halloween!

MARV: That's so silly. Why would they... oh, you mean the ghosts and goblins thing.

DALE: Yes! People think of Halloween as a Satanic holiday with witches and monsters and demons.

MARV: Oh my!

DALE: I'm serious, Marv, we need to get away from these people.

MARV: Dale, I am surprised at you. Don't you realize how much in common we have with these people?

DALE: What?

MARV: Think about it, Dale. What were we before we became Jack-O-Lanterns?

DALE: Pumpkins.

MARV: That's right, pumpkins, with no expressions on our faces and a bunch of gunk filling up our insides. Then someone came along, scooped all the junk out of us, and put big smiles on our bellies. 

DALE: Marv, why do we have smiles on our bellies?

MARV: Don't ask questions like that. You'll ruin the suspension of disbelief.

DALE: Sorry.

MARV: Then that same fella who gave us these smiles also put a light inside of us, bright enough to shine on the whole world. Doesn't that sound like a Christian to you?

DALE: Yeah, I think I get it now.

MARV: I thought you would.

DALE: I guess them Christians aren't so bad after all.

MARV: I tried to tell you.

DALE: You were right. But that still doesn't get us any closer to the pumpkin patch.

MARV: I know, I know. (to the audience) Hey, can anyone direct us to the pumpkin patch? Or at least, you know, outdoors?

 

Wait for a response from the audience, then the Jack-O-Lanterns begin to exit.

 

MARV: See? I told you they weren't all bad.

DALE: You sure, Marv? Some of these men are giving me a look.

MARV: That’s because you remind them of pumpkin pie.

DALE: Savages!

New skit - Are You Being Judged?

Are You Being Judged?

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS

Heidi- A receptionist

Carl- A bit of a spiritual masochist

Mick- A judgment professional

 

A table and two chairs are set at center. Heidi sits at a desk stage left. Carl enters, stage right, and walks up to Heidi.

 

HEIDI: Can I help you?

CARL: I'd like to be judged, please.

HEIDI: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?

CARL: Uh, no. This is my first time.

HEIDI: (picks up a clipboard) What is your name, please?

CARL: Carl McMillan.

HEIDI: And Carl, have you ever, or are you currently now, violating any of the Ten Commandments, and if so, which ones?

CARL: Oh, I guess I've probably broken them all.

HEIDI: Okay.

CARL: Smashed them to bits, in fact.

HEIDI: I see.

CARL: Carl's a naughty boy, ha ha.

HEIDI: Very good. And do you prefer Protestant or Catholic guilt?

CARL: Which do you recommend?

HEIDI: Well, since it's your first time, I would say start with the Protestant, and if that's not intense enough, you can move on to Catholic.

CARL: Protestant will be fine then.

HEIDI: Good. Please have a seat at the table. Mr. Turner will be out in just a moment.

CARL: Thank you.

 

Heidi exits stage left. Carl sits at the table. Mick enters with Heidi's clipboard, looks at Carl, and shakes his head in disgust. He walks over. Carl offers Mick his hand.

 

CARL: You must be Mr. Turner.

MICK: (condescendingly) You're McMillan?

CARL: Nice to meet--

MICK: I'm not shaking your hand.

CARL: What?

MICK: (screaming) I said put that hand away, you reprobate!

CARL: (on the defensive) What did you call me?

MICK: Shut your mouth, you worm!

CARL: Look, I just wanted--

MICK: If it were up to me, demon food like you wouldn't be allowed on the premises, you blasphemer! You adulterer! You vile, contemptible coveter of othe people's things!

 

Mick starts to sniff the air.

 

MICK: Do you smell that?

CARL: Smell what?

MICK: That smell. I know that smell. It's the smell of... burning sulfur.

CARL: Sulfur?

MICK: They're stoking the fires of Hell for you, you putrid, disgusting sinner!

CARL: (genuinely impressed) Wow! You are really good at this!

MICK: (out of character) You think so?

CARL: Yes. I feel totally condemned right now, and a bit insulted.

MICK: Only a bit?

CARL: It takes a lot to insult me, mind you.

MICK: Well thank you. That means a lot. Especially coming from someone who (back in character) violates the Sabbath and disobeys his parents!

CARL: (defensive) You never knew my parents or you'd--

MICK: (back to screaming) The Lord doesn't care! You respect your parents, or you get thrown in the flames of Hell!

CARL: Oh for the love of--

MICK: Don't even take the Lord's name in vain in front of me, you idolatrous Philistine!

 

The conversation goes back to being cordial.

 

CARL: Oooh, Philistine! I like that.

MICK: Always was my favorite.

CARL: How long you been doing this?

MICK: Three months.

CARL: You judge like a pro.

MICK: Thank you.

CARL: You like your work?

MICK: I do, actually. It's challenging, and always different.

CARL: You ever run out of names to call people?

MICK: No, no, we have a pretty extensive database we use for training.

CARL: No wonder you're so good. Give me some more.

MICK: My pleasure. (screams) You lecherous louse! You lying sack of pestilent garbage! I wouldn't feed your cold, dead carcass to my hounds for fear they would be drug into the pit with you!

CARL: Wow, I got a chill that time.

MICK: (calm again) Came up with that on my own. You like it? 

CARL: I do! It definitely gets the point across.

MICK: You been in here before?

CARL: No, no, a friend told me about this. Said it was a rare guilty pleasure of his.

MICK: Really? Who's your friend?

CARL: Jeremy Stills.

MICK: (screams) Jeremy Stills? That vicious, bottom-dwelling, slug of a man?

CARL: Ha ha ha, that's Jeremy.

MICK: He's a good man. I mean except for the fact that he's (screaming) going to Hell!

CARL: He was telling me that people used to get judged for free.

MICK: That's true. In fact for centuries after Christ, Christians were running around maliciously judging people left and right.

CARL: Really?

MICK: Oh yes. They were quite notorious.

CARL: What happened?

MICK: Well, it's hard to say, but the long and short of it is, one day, Christians just stopped judging their neighbors.

CARL: How odd!

MICK: Well, it's not Christ-like, you know? Running around, judging other people? Christ left the judgment to his Heavenly Father and focused on leading people to salvation. Once the Christians caught on to that, churches went from half empty to over-flowing. 

CARL: Now why is that, I wonder?

MICK: Not everyone likes being judged you know. When you tell people they're reprehensible sinners bound for the Lake of Fire, most of them get defensive.

CARL: I see.

MICK: It's kind of a niche market we're in.

CARL: Indeed.

MICK: I'm sorry, we're on your time, and you wanted to be judged.

CARL: Oh you're fine. This was interesting.

MICK: (angry again) Yeah? You won't find it so interesting when the devil plucks your entrails from your gullet with a pitchfork you beer swilling, tobacco smoking, drug using, rock and roll listening, Hollywood worshipping, MSNBC watching, left wing voting, Oprah Winfrey book of the month club reading pile of rat droppings!

CARL: (applauding) Wow. Marvelous! Absolutely marvelous. You really cut me down to size on that one!

MICK: You think that's bad, you should try Catholic guilt some time.

CARL: Why not now? 

MICK: Well, if you think you're ready for it.

CARL: Bring it on.

MICK: Wait right here. Let me see if the Inquisition chamber is free.

 

Mick exits.

Improv workshop

A friend of mine asked me to write out instructions for a few improv games I used to teach in the old RI workshops. The series of games work as a nice progression to bring your actors from simple game playing to performing full on scenes.

Workshops always started with the two rules of improvisation:

1. Never say "No." The idea in improvisation is to tell a story, just like any other form of drama. To do this, actors must accept what their partners say, and add on to it. If they agree to cooperate like this, the scene moves forward. If they contradict each other, the scene stalls. They did a fantastic bit on 30 Rock last year that plays against this rule when two actors are told to act out a skit with Oprah Winfrey and Sling Blade.

ACTOR 1: (in a Sling Blade voice) Mmm, I just love these mashed potaters.

ACTOR 2: No you don't, Oprah.

This rule of agreement (as it is sometimes called) not only keeps the scene going, but builds trust among actors. When you have someone who violates that trust, other actors won't want to work with them. (See Michael Scott when he goes to improv class on "The Office.")

2. If the other actor says "No," do it anyway. This gets you over the hump, and keeps the scene moving forward. "No" creates conflict, which drama needs, and when an audience sees a character told "No," they want to see that character disobey. Why? Because it will probably be funny!

The example I always used was from Ren and Stimpy, when Stimpy was told to guard a big, red button. "A jolly, candy-like button" that he was not allowed to press. The audience wants nothing more than to see Stimpy push the button - which he does, blowing up the universe.

Once the rules are explained, we go on to:

Yes, And...

In Yes, And... two actors are chosen to play a simple game. The moderator will give them an opening line, such as "I think we should start a circus." From there, every line in the scene must begin with, "Yes, And..." The principle behind this game is accepting the other actor's idea (Yes) and building on it (And). Actors are encouraged not merely to add, but to be detailed when they add. Don't just add monkeys. Add monkeys in tutus who do long division with chalk on an elephant's back. Once you've practiced that, you can move on to...

The Storyteller

Choose four actors and line them up on stage. The moderator gives them an opening sentence to a story. Then the four actors take turns going left to right (or right to left) adding on to the story. Actors must practice listening skills so they know what has come before, and they MUST stay consistent while adding on new information and ideas. Go down the row two times (at least) so everyone has a chance to react off someone else's ideas. Again, you're practicing the rule of agreement, and you're practicing specific details in your storytelling.

You can make the leap from storytelling to acting out stories using another game called...

The Principal's Office

This game is an extension of the activity in The Storyteller. Choose three actors. Sit two of them down in a chair. These two are students; the third actor is the principal. The students are accused of doing something wrong, such as dumping Alka Seltzer in the school swimming pool. The principal's job is to trap the students in a lie and get them to confess. The students (who ARE guilty) must collaborate on a story that they make up to put the blame on someone (or something) else. Unlike The Storyteller, the actors will be in character. Students must play students. (You choose the age.) The principal plays the principal. Students don't go back and forth like in The Storyteller, but still collaborate in a more natural way. Again, it's important to listen and add on, not contradict your acting partners, while being as specific and detailed as possible.

One night in Northern Indiana, I had given a group of actors the Alka Seltzer scenario. One of the students "found" Alka Seltzer tablets in her pockets, which she put in her mouth. As her partner continued to try to lie about the incident, the girl proceeded to foam at the mouth, bawling her eyes out. It was one of the funniest bits we ever saw in a workshop.

Finally, we come to...

Boris

Boris is a much more challenging interrogation game that goes beyond The Principal's Office to a physical level. In Boris, you have two actors. One is an interrogator, the other an interrogatee. (The interrogator can be a cop, a thug, whatever you choose.) The interrogator is, once again, trying to get the other actor to confess to something he/she may or may not have done. This time, they have the assistance of Boris - and invisible, seven foot tall, four hundred pound enforcer. Boris is extremely slow, so Boris requires the interrogator to give him explicit instructions on what to do to the victim. Instructions may be something like, "Boris stick your fingers up his nose and pick him up." Or "Boris, grab him by the collar."

The interrogatee's job is to bring Boris to life by acting as if an invisible, seven foot tall, four hundred pound gorilla is actually doing these things to him or her. Thus, this is a great chance to practice not only verbal skills, but pantomime and physical comedy. I once had to give myself the Stone Cold Stunner, courtesy of Boris. Not an easy task, but the audience loved it.

New skit: "Affair-Proof"

New skit for men's groups or retreats. I have to say, the bicycle line is one of the funniest, grossest jokes I think I have ever written. 

Affair-Proof

By John Cosper

www.righteousinsanity.com

 

CHARACTERS

Bob- A good husband

Sheila- A sexy secretary

Narrator

 

Peppy, educational film background music plays as the lights come up on Bob sitting at his desk. Sheila enters, hands him a document.

SHEILA: Hey, Bob, this was on the printer. I thought you might want it.

BOB: Thank you, Sheila.

SHEILA: My, my, such a polite man. I like a man with good manners.

Sheila walks away.

NARR: Uh oh, married man, sounds like that new secretary has the hots for you.

BOB: I don't understand it. I don't flirt with her. And I love my family. I don't want to cheat on my wife!

NARR: Sounds like you need to affair-proof yourself!

BOB: Affair-proof myself?

NARR: That's right. There are certain steps you can take to make sure no one - and I mean NO ONE - will ever want to have a one night stand with you.

BOB: How do I do that?

NARR: Well, Bob, there are three phases of affair-proofing yourself. Phase one: use the family.

BOB: I wear my wedding ring. Isn't that enough?

NARR: In this day and age? No way! You've gotta really commit if you want to make sure this woman stays far away from you. Put some pictures of the wife and kids out, and make sure you include a nice wedding photo.

Bob sets out some pictures.

BOB: There, how's that?

NARR: Let's find out!

Sheila enters.

SHEILA: Hey, are those your kids?

BOB: Yes they are.

SHEILA: They're cute.

BOB: Thank you.

SHEILA: I bet you and me could make a baby even cuter!

Sheila exits.

BOB: It's not working.

NARR: Then it's time to go to phase two: female repellant!

BOB: Female repellant? Like what?

NARR: You know, guy stuff. Stuff girls hate. Like your fantasy football team.

BOB: That won't work. She has one too.

NARR: Well then, why not bring out those old, dusty dungeon master books you keep up in the attic?

BOB: Actually, I brought them in here. My wife wanted them out of the house.

NARR: Set a couple of those books on your desk.

BOB: Really?

NARR: Sure, go ahead!

Bob pulls out the books and sets them on the desk.

NARR: It's a simple step, but a powerful sign that you are no prize.

BOB: Cool.

Sheila enters.

SHEILA: Wow. You play D&D?

BOB: Yeah, you got a problem with that?

SHEILA: Not at all. I'm a Fairy Elfling myself, and I know how to cast a level five love spell, if you know what I mean!

Sheila exits.

BOB: It's still not working!

NARR: Then it's time to go all the way to phase three: using your bodily functions.

BOB: You mean gas?

NARR: Gas, belching, and especially nose picking.

Bob lifts his finger, looks at it.

BOB: Gosh, I haven't done that in years. 

NARR: Go ahead. It's like riding a bicycle.

Bob picks his nose. Sheila enters and gets grossed out.

SHEILA: Ewwwww!

Sheila exits.

BOB: Hey, it's working!

NARR: Congratulations, Bob! You've proven once again that anyone can affair-proof themselves if they put their mind to it.

BOB: Or their finger!

NARR: Bob, that's just gross.

The Wind in the Wheat

I first read Reed Arvin's novel "The Wind and the Wheat" about fifteen years or so ago. It's out of print now, but if you are a budding Christian artist (music, theater, whatever), I strongly recommend searching Amazon and Half.com for a used copy. It's worth your time.

 

"The Wind in the Wheat" was written in a time when the goal of the contemporary Christian music artist was to get that "crossover" hit on Top 40 radio. Amy Grant had struck gold with her Heart in Motion album, and Michael W. Smith had hit it big with "Place in This World." "The Wind in the Wheat" takes a hard look at the harsh realities of the recording industry - Christian and non - and calls young dreamers to examine their motives and count the cost, should fame knock upon their own door.

 

The main character of "The Wind in the Wheat" is Andrew Miracle. (Nice name, right?) Andrew is a very gifted musician from a small town who uses his gift faithfully in church and in his community. He is discovered by the manager of a traveling music ministry, a friend of Andrew's pastor, who signs him to a record deal and moves him to Nashville.

 

Andrew is overwhelmed by the opportunities that flood his way. His recordings generate tremendous buzz, and the manager soon has the attention of a major pop label. Andrew is offered the deal of a lifetime, but there are compromises involved - especially in the form of a few minor "lyric changes."

 

Andrew takes the deal, and is soon performing for arenas full of people screaming his name. But in time, he comes to question the compromises he has made. The ending is somewhat predictable, but a valuable lesson for anyone who dreams they can have fame and fortune and still honor God.

 

"The Wind and the Wheat" never condemns the artist, nor does it necessarily condemn the music world as a whole. In the end, it calls the individual reader - particularly the talented dreamer - to examine his or her motives and prayerfully consider where God has called them to be. Some are called to play arenas. Some are called to play at the local nursing home. We can choose to ignore the call if we want, but only by obeying that call will be find the peace that comes with knowing we are EXACTLY where we should be.

New Vision, Renewed Mission

I don't know when it became "not enough" to have a mission statement. Somewhere in the past few years, Mission Statements have become second banana to the Vision Statement. Despite the change in the culture, I was not in any rush to acquire a Vision Statement to supercede my mission statement at Righteous Insanity. (I was raised Southern Baptist; insert your own joke about "change.") But after finishing a project this week that had a very clear cut goal in mind, a vision statement came to me:

 

"Righteous Insanity exists to lead people into a deeper, more authentic walk with Christ."

 

Over the years, I've felt more called to minister and speak to Christians vs. non-Christians, but I resisted making that my singular purpose. For one thing, there's too much Christian-on-Christian ministry going on, and the church, by an large, has lost touch with the Great Commission. It didn't seem right not to be at least partially evangelism oriented, and to be fair, I've written a good amount of material that can be used as evangelism.

 

That said, two factors convinced me this sharper focus was justified. First of all, the Christian drama world seems to be, by and large, Christian-oriented, with the primary usage being on Sunday morning before a largely Christian audience. And secondly, the vast majority of material I've written has been focused on urging Christians to live a more authentic Christian life. I want to see Christians not just being Christians in church, but in school, at work, on dates, out at restaurants, at political rallies, and everywhere else they go. No, we will not win everyone; the Bible says the world has seen the light and not understood it. But if we can repent of the hypocrisy and luke-warm faith that has become our stereotype, we will have removed the biggest obstacle that keeps non-believers from seeing Christ for who he is - ourselves.

 

With that new vision, the mission statement of RI has changed once again:

 

Righteous Insanity is committed to:

1. Creating drama, film, and fiction that will glorify God and lead people to a closer walk with Him.

2. Inspiring theatre and film artists to use their God-given talents for His glory.

 

RI has always been about providing original, memorable, and inspirational drama that connects with people. I will continue to pursue that goal through the drama catalog, script writing, and also the film and fiction projects that come along. As far as the second part of the mission... I'm a teacher. I've come to embrace that label more than ever. I want to encourage young believers to develop and use their gifts for the Lord by whatever means I can - curriculum, workshops, and hands-on experience, especially with film projects.

 

I don't expect this is the last time I'll re-visit the vision and mission of the ministry that is still going after fifteen years. I expect it to change and grow as I change and grow in my walk with God. For now, I am grateful for a renewed focus on what I do, and why I do it.

 

Let me know if I can help you with your ministry; that's why I am here.