Righteous Insanity

Righteous Insanity Film Projects 2009

As i mentioned here before, I have stepped away from directing with Righteous Insanity films to take more of a producer role and give some other folks a chance to get some directing experience. It's taken some time to get the ball rolling, but here's a look at what's in development this year. 

BOTS - Have you ever met someone new, exciting, and gorgeous in an online chat room only to find out they're just an automated computer program (or "bot") trying to get you to buy something? Comedian Marty Pollio will be directing this hilarious short that imagines the next evolution in the use of "bots."

 

MED 814 - Based on the short story posted at www.lunarshuttletickets.com, Med 814 is a 14 part short film series that tells the tale of a government project to eradicate faith in God through the use of a mind-altering drug. Med 814 is a collaborative project, with multiple actors and directors across the country to film different segments of the story. I am still looking for a few folks to help round out the cast and film the few remaining segments. If you're interested, drop me an email: john@righteousinsanity.com

 

THE TELEMARKETER - A science fiction story about the telemarketer of the future - a man who teleports into your home rather than just calling on the phone. A shocking and hilarious short based on the short story posted at www.lunarshuttletickets.com. This has been in development since last summer, with Denny Grinar slated to direct. Soon as we get that teleportation device built, we'll be in business.

 

OPEN WINDOW - A Christian and a web cam girl meet in a chat window; what happens when the Christian asks to pray for her? A dramatic look at approaching non-believers in a loving way (as opposed to the old "You're gonna burn in hell" bit).

 

FLUFFY 3 and FLUFFY PREQUEL - There are two scripts now in the works that continue or expand on the story of the cute and fuzzy alien who likes to eat people. I'm holding Fluffy 3 to direct myself, which may or may not happen in 2009. Right now, I am looking for actors and a director in the Chicago area to assist with filming a prequel. If you're reading this and interested, email me atjohn@righteousinsanity.com

 

GETYOKED.NET - As always, Righteous Insanity is seeking actors with video camera to film new and hilarious video personals for our parody Christian dating site. If you'd like to get involved, email me at john@righteousinsanity.com

Never write skits when you're angry

One thing I have learned over the years: never write a topical skit when you're angry. When a news story comes up that makes your blood boil and fills you with righteous indignation, do not - DO NOT - channel that rage into anything you intend to use on a Sunday morning. Write if you must, but delete it when you're done and start fresh when you've calmed down.

 

The problem with writing angry is, no matter how right you may be (or think you are), you're not going to win anyone over with your venom. You'll only tick them off and discredit yourself as any kind of an authority on anything. I've written some pretty angry, inflammatory material that has never (and will never) see the light of day.

 

Good drama that connects and persuades doesn't do so by kicking the door down and spraying the living room with machine gunblasts. It sneaks in the back door and throws on the lights. Look at the parables. Heck, look at fairy tales. The best stories are never in your face. At first glance, they appear to be about someone else. But when you look a little closer, you see your reflection inside.

 

Sketchwriters are not meant to pound the podium. Our job is to yank the seat out beneath our audience just before they sit down. A little subtley and symbolism can go a long way.

Christian Academy of Indiana presents.. JOSEPH!

Christian Academy of Indiana Theatre will present Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" April 2-3, 2009 at Christian Academy of Indiana. "Joseph" is a re-telling of the Bible story from Genesis where a young shepherd boy is sold into slavery by his brothers, only to rise to the second highest position in all of Egypt. This is a high energy, fun show that will entertain ALL ages! Tickets are $7 for students and $10 for adults. (Groups of six or more, $7 each.) Reservations can be made by calling 812-944-6200 or emailing johncosper@yahoo.com

Ross and Rachel

Ross was a loser. Ross had no self-respect, no self-esteem. If he had, he would have forgotten Rachel, moved on, and found a girl who would appreciate him. 

Rachel was selfish, and a flake. She did not deserve Ross, even as messed up as he was, and she should have let him move on. 

Don't tell me TV doesn't have an impact on its viewers. This is exactly the kind of portrayal of love that leads real people to make stupid decisions every day when it comes to love. 

Anybody else with me on this Ross and Rachel thing? 

Free play in English and Spanish

My son Sam was born nine days ago, March 6. I'm now a husband and father of two, and I've only been married 2 and a half years. Yep, that's pretty fast, but when Jessica and I got married, we were both very ready for a family. God has certainly blessed us. 

Married life, fatherhood, and my early experiences in the classroom (I am working on my teaching license) this year have shown me just how vitally important the traditional family unit is. Kids who thrive the most in the classroom and in life tend to come from stable homes with a loving mom and dad. Yes, there are exceptions, and exceptional kids. But there are also some very down-trodden, hopeless kids who are suffering without the support of a strong family unit. 

I've posted a few free plays online in the past for youth, plays like Adam's Letter and The Waiting Room that carried messages that I felt was more important than making a few dollars. Last week, I decided a recent play on the subject of marriage fell into that same category. 

"King Solomon's Show of Shows" is a comedy about an estranged married couple running a honeymoon getaway. One weekend, as they begin to evaluate their relationship and discuss the possibility of divorce, an unusual couple arrives: King Solomon and his Beloved from "Song of Solomon." The King and the Beloved are completely enamored of each other, and their love touches and strengthens the guests of the resort and the couple who run the place.

"Show of Shows" features the full text of "Song of Solomon," every single word, and it has something to say to newlyweds, empty nesters, and everyone in between. It is not recommended for younger audiences, but it IS available in English and Spanish. 

The scripts are available on the Plays page of our sister site, Sunday School Dropouts. Download either version at www.sundayschooldropouts.com 

On Youtube: Parenting by Force

I love seeing what other people do with my material. I was on youtube today and came across a video adaptation of a skit called "Parenting by Force." This one was amazing. Click play to view it for yourself.

Stem Cell Steve rides again

I know I have posted this link before, but it's timely, and I am so furious with the president's actions today, reversing the ban on embryonic stem cells, I can't see straight. 

Shame on you, Mr. President, for condoning barbarism. As a Christian, you should be a defender of life in all its stages. The last eight years have proven that we do not need to butcher the unborn. That's not ideology, Mr. President. It's scientific FACT. 

If those who believe that embryonic stem cells are the answer to all our problems have our way, it may only be a few decades before Stem Cell Steve goes from black comedy to horrifying reality. 

Thanks to Jack Hall and sundayschooldropouts.com for their permission to re-print this skit. 

Stem Cell Steve

By Jack Hall

 

CHARACTERS

Announcer

Doctor

Mr. Brown – Patient

Steve – A blob of tissue that looks remarkably human

 

Author’s Note: This skit was written in direct response to the issue of embryonic stem cell research, not stem cell research in general. Embryonic stem cell research, like cloning and human/animal chimeras, is a barbaric “science” only a Nazi could love. On the other hand, adult stem cells, which can be found throughout the human body, may very well lead to a number of scientific breakthroughs in the future without any loss of life. If you choose to perform this skit, we kindly ask that you agree to draw a distinction between embryonic stem cells (bad!) and adult stem cells (good!). If, however, your agenda is to ignorantly condemn all stem cell research, then please go away and write your own skit. Thank you.

 

The setting is a doctor’s office, 2051. This can be video taped like a TV promo, or performed live. The Announcer’s line may be left out if desired. The Doctor and Mr. Brown are in the office at rise.

 

ANNOUNCER: The following is a message from the National Stem Cell Research Center.

DOCTOR: Well, Mr. Brown, I have your test results back. Looks like you need a heart transplant.

BROWN: A heart transplant? But Doc, I can’t afford to be off from work. I have a family to take care of, and a business to run.

DOCTOR: Not to worry, Mr. Brown. Here in the year 2051, a heart transplant is no more difficult than freezing a wart off your foot. You’ll be in and out in a day.

BROWN: But Doc, won’t I have to wait on a long list for a donor organ?

DOCTOR: Not at all, Mr. Brown. We’ll have a new heart in your chest before the afternoon is over.

BROWN: How is that possible?

DOCTOR: I’ll tell you how: embryonic stem cell research.

BROWN: Embryonic stem cell research? What’s that?

DOCTOR: It’s when doctor’s take cells from an undeveloped human fetus and grow it into blobs of tissue useful for medical research and treatment, such as the heart we’ll put in your rib cage.

BROWN: Tissue from a fetus? Sounds fishy.

DOCTOR: (laughs) You know, back at the turn of the century, a lot of people thought that, primitive thinkers who believed in God, prayed in schools, and thought that fetuses were babies. Thank goodness for you, rational thinking politicians and scientists saved the day and kicked those primitives back to the stone age.

BROWN: Golly!

DOCTOR: Now let’s see, you’re Type AB negative? Looks like we’re going to need Steve. (calls off) Steve? Would you step in here, please?

 

Steve enters.

 

BROWN: Who are you?

STEVE: I’m Steve.

DOCTOR: Steve here is going to give you his heart. Isn’t that great?

BROWN: (starts to break character) You’re going to give me his heart? Today?

DOC: That’s right.

STEVE: Isn’t embryonic stem cell technology neat-o?

BROWN: But, you can’t take his heart. He’s a human being.

STEVE: No I’m not. I’m a blob of tissue, brought to maturity in laboratory conditions and prepared especially to meet your medical need.

BROWN: But if I take your heart, you’ll be dead!

STEVE: No I won’t. Because I’m not alive right now. I’m just tissue.

BROWN: No you’re not! You’re a human being! 

DOCTOR: Please, Mr. Brown. I promise you Steve is only a mass of stem cells, and not a human being.  

STEVE: But if I was, I would have no moral or ethical problem with offing myself so that you can live.

BROWN: You mean you want to die?

DOCTOR: We genetically engineered them that way. Cute, huh?

STEVE: And we stem cells don’t refer to it as dying. We like to call it recycling.

BROWN: I don’t care what you call it! I won’t let you kill this man!

STEVE: He’s not going to do anything, sir. I’m going to do it.

BROWN: You?

STEVE: Unless you prefer to do it. I don’t mind. Can you handle a .9mm automatic?

BROWN: You’re going to shoot yourself?

STEVE: Right between the eyes. It’s a lot safer for you than drugs. Don’t want to damage the heart.

BROWN: You’re insane!

STEVE: If you prefer, I could slit my throat. Do you want to slit my throat? I have a lovely knife.

BROWN: NO!!!

DOCTOR: Please, Mr. Brown, don’t get all excited. Remember, you still have a bad heart.

STEVE: That’s right. I better hurry up and shoot myself so that you can get back to your lovely wife and kids.

 

Steve exits.

 

BROWN: No, please, don’t do that! I don’t want this guy to die.

DOCTOR: He won’t die, Mr. Brown. He’s not human.

BROWN: You’re… you’re sure?

DOCTOR: I have all its documents in my office if you want to review them.

BROWN: I see. (pause) Will you at least give him a good burial?

DOCTOR: Of course not. We’ll toss the refuse out with the rest of the biological waste.

BROWN: That’s what you do?

DOCTOR: We can’t just dump it in a landfill, can we?

BROWN: Well, okay then.

DOCTOR: Good. I’ll send Nurse Janet in to prep you for surgery. She’ll get you fixed up and we’ll be under way in—

 

Sound of a gunshot off stage. The Doctor looks off non-chalantly. Mr. Brown’s eyes pop open in horror.

 

DOCTOR: Sounds like fifteen minutes.

 

Blackout.

Why people hate Christians

An English teacher shared a note with me today from an irate parent. The parent was angry that the teacher was teaching religion in class. The woman, a God-fearing Christian demanded that the teachers stop what they were doing; or, if they needed a lesson on the Bible, she invited the teachers call her... or her attorney.

 

Guess what "religion" the teacher was spreading in class? Greek mythology.

 

That's right. Zeus. Hera. Hades. Poseidon. Apollo. gods (lower case) that no one has worshipped in centuries. gods whose stories permeate our culture and our literature to this very day. Every genre of literature, drama, and film - from westerns to sci-fi - has the mythology of the ancients at its roots.

 

And now, Christians are threatening to sue over it.

 

This is just the kind of ignorant, off the handle nonsense that the world uses to validate itself when we try to share real Truth (upper case). Just because we have Christ in our hearts doesn't give us the right to blindly, ignorantly rant and rave and fly off the cuff about every little thing, especially when we're completely ignorant of what's really going on.

 

If anything, a study of mythology is a validation of the Christian faith. The fact that every culture, religion, and mythology in the world tells essentially the same story (the hero's quest, the Christ allegory, however you define it) not only reveals that we come from one and the same mother and father, but that there is a spiritual dimension to us. We know we need to be saved. We know the means by which we must be saved - a Savior, a King, must die and be risen again to give us new life.

 

When you consider this same story has come out of the hearts of people who never heard the gospel, it is clear that God (upper case) has placed in all our hearts a longing, a burden, a hole that only he can fill.

 

The biggest obstacle to accepting the gospel is our own pride and sinful nature. Only second to that is when Christians make fools of themselves like the parent who wrote to my friend.

 

Christians, educate thyselves. Read, research, and understand before you speak. And when you do speak, speak with love, not lawyers.

15 LPs/Tapes/CDs

This is the latest fad survey bouncing around on Facebook. I got to thinking what would be on my list, and I thought it was worth sharing here. You won't find the Beatles, Zeppelin, or any of those rock classics here. A comedy writer's influences are a little different than most.

 

In no particular order, here are the 15 most influential/memorable albums from my life:

 

1. Thriller - Michael Jackson. Simply because it was the first non-kiddie album I ever owned.

2. Back to the Street - Petra. My first Christian rock album and the first non-Gaither Christian album I ever heard.

3. The Best of Isaac Air Freight. A Christian comedy group? Foreshadowing of things to come.

4. Squint - Steve Taylor. One of the two most influential albums on the list. Steve taught me that Christianity and sarcasm could co-exist. I discovered Squint just before Righteous Insanity was founded, and it influenced my writing forever.

5. Nichols and May on Broadway. The other candidate for most influential album. Nichols and May are to comedy writers what Sgt. Pepper is for rockers.

6. Take Offs and Put Ons - George Carlin. Every commercial parody I ever wrote had its roots here.

7. St. George and the Dragonet/Yellow Rose of Texas - Stan Freberg. These were on a 33 RPM mini-record in my Dad's collection, along with John and Marsha and The Banana Boat. You never forget your first exposure to Freberg.

8. Simple House and 9. Immigrant's Daughter - Margaret Becker. One of my favorite spiritual writers, songs or otherwise.

10. Happy Ever After - Hoi Polloi. The third, final, and best album ever by my favorite Christian rock band ever. When they broke up, I knew I'd never love another band.

11. (Untitled) - The Benjamin Gate. The band that taught me to love again. Sadly, they broke up after only two albums. (Three if you count their unreleased demo; thank you, Shannon, for that bootleg!!)

12. Dogs I Have Known - Jerry Clower. When I was a kid, I told my parents I wanted to be a stand up comedian. Fearing I would follow the vulgar path of Eddie Murphy, my parents got me Jerry Clower. I love hearing him again on XM's Laugh USA.

13. Comedy Minus One - Albert Brooks. This man is so under-appreciated - and so FUNNY. Thank you, Lorne Michaels, for including his short films on the complete first season DVD set from SNL.

14. Another Monty Python Album. My first exposure to the British masters... and the Spanish Inquisition.

15. A Wild and Crazy Guy - Steve Martin. If Nichols and May are the Beatles, Steve Martin is Zeppelin. Steve Martin deconstructed stand-up and created a style that has been imitated but never duplicated.

New skit on Sunday School Dropouts

Inspired by this morning's news report on the Today Show about advances in genetics that will soon allow people to determine the sex, eye color, hair color, athletic ability, and intelligence of their offspring, I wrote a new skit today called "Test Tube Yankees." The skit is posted free on Ri's sister site, www.sundayschooldropouts.com

The Dropouts just revamped their website with a new, easier to search scripts menu. Everything posted on their website is free, but with good reason. The more sensitive believers out there will probably find their skits highly offensive. If they're not skewering the culture for its own self-righteousness and degradation, they're trampling sacred cows of the church, calling Christians on the carpet for their hypocrisy. Imagine Steve Taylor's sarcasm on acid in drama skits instead of songs... if that makes sense. Their messages are in your face, over the line, and unforgettable... which is kind of the idea.