New Skit: The Kingdom of God with Yoda, Gollum, and Dobby

The Kingdom of God with Yoda, Gollum, and Dobby
By John Cosper

CHARACTERS
Narrator
Yoda
Gollum
Dobby

NARR: What is the kingdom of God? The kingdom of God is like a treasure that a man discovered in the middle of a field. When he found it, he buried it again, then sold all he had so he could buy that land and possess the treasure.

Gollum enters with the Ring.

GOLLUM: Yesss, Smeagol has you now. I love you. I need you. My preciousssss.
NARR: That's kinda creepy. Can we get Gollum out of here?
GOLLUM: No! Please don't send Smeagol away! Smeagol be nice. And besideses, Smeagol and the Preciousss are such a good metaphor for the Kingdom of God. Smeagol, and Precioussss. My precioussss.
NARR: Okay then. The kingdom of God is like the precious.
GOLLUM: My preciousssss.
NARR: And for those who find the kingdom of God, the kingdom means freedom, liberation. The lame can walk, the blind can see, and the--

Dobby enters wailing, holding a sock.

NARR: And the house elf has been set free.
DOBBY: Look kind Narrator! Dobby has been given clothes. Dobby is free! (wails crying) Dobby is free Gollum!
GOLLUM: Stay away from the preciousssss.
NARR: So where is this kingdom of God? It's not as far as you might think. Sure, there's a real place called heaven, where the streets are paved with gold, but the kingdom of God isn't just for the future. It's right here, on Earth.

Yoda enters.

YODA: It surrounds us, penetrates us. You can feel it all around you, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.
NARR: Okay, this is getting a little old.
YODA: Look I so old to your eyes?
NARR: I didn't mean you, I mean--
YODA: When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not.
NARR: Actually in the kingdom of God, I never will grow old. We'll live forever with Christ.
GOLLUM: My precioussss.
NARR: Yes, that's right. The precioussss.
DOBBY: And we will be free.
NARR: And we will be home with the Lord.
YODA: Your father he is.
NARR: All right, scene's over.

The Narrator walks off.

YODA: Patience. You must learn patience!