New Skit - Chicken L-l-l-l-little

Chicken L-l-l-little
By John Cosper

CHARACTERS
Chicken Little - A stuttering chick
Patty, Polly, Peggy - Hens
Rex Rooster - An eloquent speaker
The Narrator

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Although inspired by current events (with a little help from Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and William Shakespeare, this script is in no way intended to be a statement about any political candidate or party and should not be used as such. I merely wish to pose a question we should all ask in regards to politicians, pastors, teachers, and anyone who claims to speak with authority. What's more important: the words that are spoken, or the manner in which they are spoken?

The Narrator enters.

NARR: Once upon a time, there was a little chicken who knew the truth.

Polly and Patty are on stage. Chicken Little enters. He speaks with a terrible stammer.

LITTLE: L-l-l-l-l-l-ladies! L-l-l-l-l-l-listen to me!
POLLY: Hey, Patty, l-l-l-look, it's Chicken L-l-l-little.

Polly and Patty laugh.

LITTLE: L-l-l-l-listen, l-l-l-adies! The sky is f-f-f-f-falling!
POLLY: The what?
LITTLE: The s-s-s-s-sky is f-f-f-falling.
PATTY: What did he say?
POLLY: I believe he said the sky is falling.
PATTY: Is it really?
LITTLE: A p-p-p-p-piece of it hit me on the h-h-h-h-head! L-l-l-look!

He shows them a fallen, broken ceiling tile.

PATTY: Well what do you think?
POLLY: Well, it certainly looks like the sky.
PATTY: If this is true, then everyone must know! We have to act fast!

Peggy enters. Patty and Polly speak to her, making soft clucking sounds under the narration.

NARR: So word began to spread, and people began to hear the truth.
PEGGY: Are you sure?
PATTY: A piece of it fell on him!
POLLY: We saw it with our own eyes?
PEGGY: But how can we trust him? He's just a little guy! And he has that terrible stammer.
POLLY: Yes, he does stutter.
PATTY: But does that mean he is not telling the truth?

Rex Rooster enters.

REX: Ladies, ladies, do not fear!
PATTY: Why look, it's that handsome Rex Rooster!
REX: Pay no attention to that stuttering chick! For I have a great speaking voice, and a charismatic style. I speak eloquently, and do not fumble my words. See how easily I pronounce words like smokescreen.
HENS: Ooooh!
REX: Misdirection.
HENS: Ahhh!
REX: Song and dance!
HENS: Ohhh!
LITTLE: But the sk-sk-sk-sk-sky is f-f-f-f-f
REX: My friends, who would you rather believe? The stammerings of a little chick? Or the big, booming voice of a rooster like me?
PEGGY: He has such a nice voice.
NARR: He did have a nice voice. But Rex Rooster was more than just a great speaker. He was also legally blind.

A loud sound of shattering glass makes the Hens jump and cluck.

PATTY: What was that?
LITTLE: The sky! The sk-sk-sk-sky is f-f-f-falling!
REX: Poppycock! The sky is not falling!
POLLY: It sure sounds like it!
REX: Do you hear it in the tone of my voice? My dulcet, soothing tones?
POLLY: Well, no.
PEGGY: But that did look like a piece of the sky.
REX: My friends, I have had my eyes to the heavens, and I see no evidence that we should be worried.
NARR: He saw no evidence, because he was legally blind.

Another crash.

LITTLE: It's f-f-f-falling! W-w-w-we're all g-g-g-gonna d-d-d-d-die!

The Hens cluck in fear.

REX: Ladies, do not listen any more to this fear-mongering! Listen to the way words roll trippingly off my tongue, for I am as silver-tonged a speaker as you will ever see. My words sound better. They are spoken with confidence.
POLLY: But are they true?
PEGGY: They sound true.
PATTY: But I saw a piece of the sky fall!
REX: And I tell you I see no evidence the sky is falling.
NARR: He saw no evidence, because he was legally blind.
PATTY: Well, I guess we should follow Rex Rooster then.
PEGGY: His word is good enough for me.
POLLY: He has such a nice voice.
PATTY: And he sounds so intelligent.

The Hens exit. Rex starts to exit, headed toward the Narrator.

NARR: He sounded intelligent, and his words were smooth as silk. But Rex Rooster was legally blind.

Rex bumps into the Narrator.

REX: Sorry.
NARR: Don't mention it.
REX: Could you give me a little push?

The Narrator aims Rex, who wanders off stage.

NARR: And so the chickens followed Rex, and the perished when the sky fell on their heads.

Another loud crash. The Hens cluck in pain off stage.

NARR: All except Chicken Little.
LITTLE: W-w-w-w-what a bunch of duh-duh-duh-duh-dummies.