Righteous Insanity

Permission to speak freely

About a month ago I was turned on to the writings of Seth Godin. You’ve probably never heard of him, although if you work in marketing, you probably should look him up. (My wife, no doubt, is sick of hearing about him, but I digress.)

One of Mr. Godin’s mantras is a phrase called “permission marketing” which, simply defined, means getting the audience to give you permission to tell them something. Instead of the old advertising model, where advertisers interrupt your programming to bring you important commercials, permission marketing starts with you giving something away in the hopes that your audience will then come back or stick around to hear more of what you have to say.

This past weekend I performed in a skit for my church. The skit was about a yuppy couple expecting a baby. The couple already had the child signed up for little league and school, even though the wife is only six months into her pregnancy. The audience ate it up. It was absurdist comedy, wholly unrealistic. (At least, I HOPE no one’s really that clueless about child development.)

The sketch was followed by a sermon on the story of Zechariah, the elderly father of John the Baptist, who waited his whole life for a child – then had to wait nine months to even talk about it! It was all about God’s timing, and how all of us, in some areas of our life, need to learn to be patient. It’s a message we all need to hear, but like a lot of sermons, not an easy one for every person to take. We all have busy lives. And we live in a world where instant gratification is the order of the day. We don’t have time to be patient. And we don’t have any patience for people who tell us to be patient.

So how do you get an impatient person to hear a message about waiting on God? 

You get their permission to share the message with them.

Drama is one way to get that permission. We live in a society where no one wants to be told what to do, but everyone loves to be entertained. Sending the actors out before the pastor softens the audience and gives you a chance to introduce your message in a more subtle (though no less powerful) way.

When you’re choosing dramas for your next sermon series, ask yourself these questions:

Who is most likely to resist this message?

What kind of objections would this person have?

How can I get their permission to show them a better way to live?

Narnian Politics

Even in Narnia, the mud flies during election years.

The Prodigal Son Starring Yoda, Dobby, and Gollum

A few years ago, someone suggested it might be funny to put Yoda, Gollum, and Dobby in the same skit. It's been two or three years in the making, but a good idea finally came to me.

The Prodigal Son, Starring Yoda, Dobby, and Gollum
By John Cosper

CHARACTERS
Yoda – The Father
Dobby – The Prodigal
Gollum – The Other Brother
Jar Jar Binks – The Narrator
Lily – The Lady
Porky – The Pig

Jar Jar Binks enters.

JAR JAR: Hi-yo. Meesa called Jar Jar Binks. Meesa you humble narrator. Meesa tell you story, okeeday? Once upon a time-o in da galaxy, there was’n a very rich man. He owned lotsa land and cows that given blue milk. His name was-a Yoda.

Yoda enters.

YODA: Very wealthy I am, yes. Prosperous have I been. (laughs)
JAR JAR: Yoda was’n very old.
YODA: Look I so old to young eyes? When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not, hmm?
JAR JAR: Yoda hadden two sons: one was’n call-ed Gollum.

Gollum enters.

GOLLUM: Gollum love Daddy. Daddy love Gollum?
YODA: Love Gollum I do, yes.
GOLLUM: Gollum Daddy’s precioussss!
JAR JAR: And the other was’n call-ed Dobby.

Pause.

JAR JAR: Meesa said, one was’n call-ed Dobby.

Dobby runs on.

DOBBY: Dobby is so sorry, Mr. Narrator. Dobby missed Dobby’s cue. Bad Dobby!
YODA: Bad Dobby is not. A good boy he is, yes.
DOBBY: (bursts into tears) Daddy is so gracious to Dobby!
JAR JAR: One day, while Gollum was at worken…
GOLLUM: Gollum-gollum-gollum.

Gollum runs off.

JAR JAR: Dobby goes’n to Yoda and says:
DOBBY: Father, Dobby would like to receive Dobby’s inheritance so Dobby can seek Dobby’s fortune.
JAR JAR: But Yoda says:
YODA: Too young are you to receive your inheritance. Patient you must be.
DOBBY: If father will not give Dobby what Dobby wants, Dobby will do mean things to father. Like tell young Skywalker who his father is.
YODA: No! Tell him you must not. Give you your inheritance, I will.
JAR JAR: And so, Yoda given Dobby his’n money.
YODA: (hands Dobby some cash) Spend wisely you must.
DOBBY: Dobby will try.
YODA: Try not! Do or do not. There is no try.

Yoda exits.

JAR JAR: Dobby went off’n to da big city where he meet pretty lady.

Lily enters. Dobby offers her a flower.

DOBBY: Dobby has brought you a flower!
LILY: A wed wose, how womantic.
JAR JAR: Too bad for Dobby, all she wanten was his-a money.

Lily takes the cash and leaves Dobby with the flower.

LILY: See you way-ter, oww-i-gater.
JAR JAR: Poor Dobby, so sadden all alone.

Dobby breaks into tears.

DOBBY: Dobby squandered all of father’s money. Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!
JAR JAR: He was-a so broken, he tooken a job feedin’ Porky Pig.

Porky Pig enters.

PORKY: Uh excuse m-m-m-me, D-d-d-dobby, I said n-n-n-n-no g-g-g-g-g-arlic in the spa-spa-spa-spaghetti sauce.
JAR JAR: Then one day, Dobby say to hisself:
DOBBY: Dobby is stuck feeding stuttering pigs and sleeping under stars, while Dobby’s father’s servants have a nice place to sleep. Perhaps Dobby’s father will take Dobby back as his house elf.

Porky exits.

JAR JAR: And so, Dobby goes home to sees his father. But while Dobby still a long ways off, Yoda sees Dobby and runs to him!

Yoda limps on with his cane.

YODA: LaDanian Tomlinson am I not, no.
DOBBY: Father, Dobby has been very bad. Please take Dobby back as your house elf.
YODA: House elf you are not. My son you are. The fattened calf we will kill, a celebration we will have!
JAR JAR: Everyone was-a so happy to sees Dobby… exceptin’ one.

Gollum enters.

GOLLUM: Father has betrayed Gollum. Gollum has been your preciousss. Gollum work hard for father, but Gollum never gets a party?
YODA: My son you are. Love you, I do. But lost was my son Dobby, and now found he is! Bitter you must not be, but celebrate with us, you must.
JAR JAR: And so, da family had a big-o party celebratin’ Dobby’s home bein’. But as for Gollum…
GOLLUM: (to audience as good Gollum) Gollum should be happy. Brother is home. Gollum missed brother. (evil Gollum) No! Gollum not happy! Dobby squandered all Dobby’s inheritance. Gollum should get everything that’s left. (good Gollum) No! Gollum must not think badly of brother. Gollum love brother. (bad Gollum) Dobby already got longer movie deal than Gollum, even though Dobby not near the theatrical achievement Gollum was! (good Gollum) But Gollum won Oscar. (evil Gollum) That’s right. Gollum’s movie win Best Picture. Dobby just annoying sidekick like Jar Jar Binks.

Gollum exits.

JAR JAR: Hey, meesa heard that!

Oxydate - a comedy skit

Sometimes I get these ideas that have no apparent spiritual merit, but I write them anyway, just for fun. This skit, based on Billy Mays of TV commercial fame, is one such skit.

OXYDATE
By John Cosper

The voice over intro is heard over black screen, fading in and out with slow mo shots of the actor playing Billy Mays in action.

VOICE OVER: Billy Mays. You know him. From his thick beard to his booming voice, to his oxygen powered commercials. Now get to know Billy Mays as you’ve never seen him in his new reality series: OXYDATE!

Fade in on a restaurant. PATRONS are seated and eating. BILLY sits at a table alone. THERESA enters, walks up to him. Throughout the scene, the patrons are disturbed by Billy’s LOUD voice.

BILLY- HI THERE!

THERESA- Hello.

BILLY- YOU MUST BE THERESA.

THERESA- Yes, and you’re--

BILLY- I'M BILLY. BILLY MAYS.

THERESA- (beginning to feel embarrassed by his voice) Yeah, I know.

BILLY- YOU LOOK REALLY LOVELY. THAT DRESS IS REALLY HOT ON YOU, SERIOUSLY.

THERESA- Yeah, thanks.

BILLY- WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?

THERESA- Okay.

BILLY- SO KAREN TELLS ME YOU'RE A PARALEGAL.

THERESA- Yes I am.

BILLY- THAT'S GREAT.

THERESA- I think so.

BILLY- I SELL OXYCLEAN.

THERESA- You what?

BILLY- OXYCLEAN! IT'S A DETERGENT THAT CLEANS WITH THE POWER OF OXYGEN.

THERESA- That’s… nice.

BILLY- YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN MY COMMERCIAL ON TV.

THERESA- Sorry, guess I missed it.

BILLY- SEE THIS SHIRT? IT HAD SPAGHETTI AND MOTOR OIL STAINS LAST WEEK. LOOK HOW CLEAN IT CAME.

THERESA- Very nice.

BILLY- YEAH DON'T ASK HOW IT HAPPENED. WHAT MATTERS IS, THE POWER OF OXYGEN GOT IT OUT.

THERESA- Gee, I wonder what’s to eat here. Let’s see.

BILLY- GOOD IDEA! (opens menu) MY, THERE ARE A LOT OF NICE THINGS ON THIS MENU.

THERESA- There certainly are.

BILLY- WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?

THERESA- Any moment now, a migraine.

BILLY- I THINK I MIGHT HAVE THE TACOS.

THERESA- Huh. The enchiladas look good.

BILLY- THE ENCHILADAS ARE GOOD. I LIKE THEM WITH THE GUACAMOLE SAUCE, BUT THEY GIVE ME BAD GAS.

THERESA- Oh my gosh.

BILLY- I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING SO, BUT YOU ARE REALLY SWEET.

THERESA- Really? Thank you.

BILLY- I SAY THAT BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A FLING.

THERESA- Gee, why don’t you repeat that a little louder?

BILLY- I'M LOOKING FOR COMMITMENT.

THERESA- Oh no.

BILLY- I'VE BEEN BURNED A FEW TIMES IN MY LIFE, I DON'T MIND TELLING YOU.

THERESA- Haven’t we all?

BILLY- LEFT A REALLY BAD STAIN ON MY HEART.

THERESA- I bet.

BILLY- AND I DON'T CARE HOW HARD YOU SCRUB, NOT EVEN THE POWER OF OXYGEN CAN REMOVE A STAIN LIKE THAT.

THERESA- Oh my gosh.

BILLY- BUT I REALLY LIKE YOU, AND I HOPE WE CAN EXPLORE SOMETHING LONG TERM, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THERESA- I… I need…

BILLY- WHAT? NAME IT, I’LL GET IT FOR YOU.

THERESA- I need some oxygen!

(Girl leaves.)

BILLY- WELL WITH OXYCLEAN YOU’VE GOT— OH, I SEE. THAT KIND OF OXYGEN. WELL, BILLY, THAT’S THAT. NOT THE FIRST TIME. SADLY, PROBABLY NOT THE LAST. WHEN WILL IT EVER END?

(BECA walks up to the table.)

BECA- EXCUSE ME, SIR. I COULDN’T HELP OVERHEARING. I’M REALLY SORRY SHE LEFT YOU LIKE THAT.

BILLY- IT’S OKAY. I’M USED TO IT.

BECA- IF YOU ASK ME, IT’S HER LOSS. SHE’S MISSING OUT ON A GREAT GUY.

BILLY- REALLY?

BECA- SURE. I LOVE ALL YOUR COMMERCIALS. YOU’RE SO TALENTED.

BILLY- THANK YOU.

BECA- YOU’RE HANDSOME AND BRIGHT, AND YOU HAVE A SOFT, GENTLE VOICE.

BILLY- MOST GIRLS HATE MY VOICE. THEY SAY IT’S TOO LOUD.

BECA- WOW, THAT’S PROBABLY WHY I CAN HEAR IT. YOU SEE, I’M HARD OF HEARING.

(They have a moment, looking into each other’s eyes… it’s LOVE!)

BILLY- SO WHAT’S YOUR NAME?

BECA- BECA.

BILLY- NICE TO MEET YOU. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

BECA- I WORK THE COUNTER AT THE BMV.

BILLY- I SELL OXYCLEAN.

BECA- I KNOW!

(Fade out.)

Anti-religious bias for all

For weeks Catholics and Evangelicals have been screaming out protests against a certain movie written by a certain atheist because it's an attack on the faith. Today I read that there's a new cry - not from Christians, but atheists, who are upset that the producers of the movie have "toned down" some of the atheist, anti-God themes of the book to make it appeal to a broader audience.

What's this? People getting upset that their religious ideals are toned down in the movies?

Welcome to our world, Atheists.

Elevator Plays 2

Just received some exciting news: I will have 2 plays featured in the 2008 production of "Elevator Plays" by the Specific Gravity Ensemble of Louisville, KY. The first Elevator Plays was a ground-breaking theatrical production featuring 24 short plays (2 minutes) performed in moving elevators. I had one play featured in the first show, and two plays will be featured in the new one. One is about a super heroine having boy troubles; the other is a spoof of the local alarmists who report the weather here in Louisville.

If you're into experimental theater, live near Louisville, and are not prone to motion sickness check out www.specificgravityensemble.com for more information. (Note: SGE is not a Christian theater; some plays may have adult or offensive subject matter.)

The Theology of Comedy

Aristotle once wrote that tragedy is a depiction of man at his most noble, and comedy, man at his most base. Therefore tragedy represented the highest form of drama, as it showed how truly noble man could be. This attitude continues to find support in our modern times. When was the last time a screwball comedy won the Oscar for best picture?
Not to quibble with one of the most renowned philosophers in history, but I think that Aristotle's analysis can be looked at another way. The truth is, tragedy depicts man the way he thinks he is. Comedy depicts man as he actually is.
We all love watching movies with great men and women. We look to Superman and William Wallace in Braveheart as heroes, and we believe we can be just like them. But let's consider for a moment the average man. Granted there are some whose accomplishments lift them above the throng, but as a general rule, who does that goofball co-worker, that difficult boss, or that irritating relative remind you of: William Wallace, or Harry and Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber?
Comedy is God's way of giving us a reality check. It's a non-confrontational, easy-to-swallow, yet always humbling reminder of what we really are: fallen people in a fallen world. It doesn't matter if you're a CEO or a janitor, the president or a ditch digger, everyone has gas, belches, and, on occasion, trips and falls on their face. (Note to those who do not find gas or belching funny: ask any pure hearted three year old, it's funny.)
Comedic films and plays are always about humbling the proud. The heroes in such stories are rarely (if ever) the rich and powerful, corrupt in their hearts. It's the little tramp and the manic pet detective that come out on top. As Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 1:27, "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise." Comedy also reminds us that true beauty is on the inside, and true riches are not kept in bank vaults. As scripture states, "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 (Samuel 16:7).
But comedy does more than expose the failings and faults within our sinful hearts. By helping us laugh at ourselves, comedy makes it okay to be imperfect. It reminds us that we are not alone in our imperfections. What husband and father can't relate to the ravings of Clark W. Griswold in Christmas Vacation? As stated before, everyone messes up. When you can laugh at yourself, the bruises and bumps sustained in the living of life don't hurt so bad.
What's more, when someone can learn to relax and laugh at themselves, and amazing healing can take place. This healing happens not only for the viewer, but the writer. It's no accident so many broken people become comedians, building entire routines around their bad childhood stories. If someone carried around the intense hurt of abuse and tragedy all their days, they would eventually self-destruct. Laughter us their means of coping, a release, and a true gift of God.
The beautiful thing is, by sharing your own hurt through comedy you can initiate healing in others. One of my plays, God Told Me To Break Up With You, was largely based on past relationships that either I or close friends of mine had experienced. None of these events were pleasant at the time, but by transforming them into comedy, I not only brought closure and healing to myself, I was able to encourage others who saw the play.
One more point: as Peter Cook once said, "I don't think there is any subject which cannot be funny." I've yet to find a single theme or topic that cannot be addressed in healing. Certainly, one must use good sense and good taste. You wouldn't joke about the tragedy of September 11. Yet you could still write a play that uses humor to lift the spirits of those still suffering from said tragedy, encouraging them to continue on and renew their faith in God.
Perhaps the world does get it. Perhaps the reason comedy never gets any respect with critics or awards is because it exposes us as the frauds we are. All the more reason we as Christians should embrace it, harnessing its powers of truth-saying and healing in the service of God. Nothing, not even laughter, would be without His creating it. As Kevin Smith said, "God has a sense of humor too. Just look at the platypus." Let us faithfully use comedy as a tool for ministering to a hurting world.

Advice from a Juggler

A quote came to me today that was worth sharing. The quote is from Darren Collins, a comedian, puppeteer, motivational speaker, and juggler in Dallas (www.throwingup.com), who shared this gem of wisdom with me after a juggling show at a church camp.

"Never open for junior highers by juggling fire. You have no where to go."

Think about it.