Classical theater folks may not like this. Geeks will, especially those who are counting down to Friday's new releases.
The Lost Play By Chekov
By John Cosper
ACTOR- Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to bear witness to a truly unique event in the history of Theater. Scholars and literary historians from the United States, working in conjunction with scholars from Russia, have verified a rare and unique find. These scholars can now confirm the discovery of a new play by Chekov. Written near the end of his life, this autobiographical play centers on a truly unique moment in the life of one of our most treasured playwrights. Right now, for the first time anywhere, we proudly present the lost play by Chekov!
The Actor exits. Another actor, playing Chekov in all black, enters. He stops at center, bows his head in reflection and preparation, then looks up and begins.
CHEKOV- (broken Russian accent) Hello. We are looking for the Naval Base at Alameda. Can you tell me where the nuclear wessels are? (pause) Nuclear wessels! We are looking for the nuclear wessels at Alameda. Can you tell me how to get to the nuclear wessel base at Alameda? Nuclear wessels. Can you tell me where to find the nuclear wessels?
Chekov bows his head. The Actor enters.
ACTOR- Well who were you expecting, Anton?