Old classic I revisited over the weekend working on some kids curriculum. Enjoy!
Ron and Joyce- Husband and wife
Brian- The son
Christina- The daughter
A kitchen table is at center. Ron and Joyce are dressed casual on a Saturday, reading the mail. Ron is looking at his son’s credit card bill.
RON: Is this for real?
JOYCE: I’m afraid so.
RON: Six hundred dollars? We gave him that card for emergencies!
JOYCE: I told you he was too young to trust him with a credit card. He’s blowing it all on music.
RON: I can’t believe he spent six hundred dollars on music. We never should have given him that iPod.
JOYCE: Christina is just as bad. Every dime I give her, she spends it at American Eagle!
RON: We taught them better than this. Didn’t we?
JOYCE: I know. Where do they get the idea that money grows on trees?
Ron’s phone rings. Ron looks at the display screen.
RON: It’s Brian.
JOYCE: This is your chance, Ron. Say something.
RON: I will. (picks up the phone) Hello
Brian enters on the side of the stage on cell phone. Joyce’s phone rings.
BRIAN: Hey, Dad! It’s me.
RON: Brian! Just the man I wanted to talk to. What’s this six hundred dollars on your emergency credit card?
Christina enters on her blackberry.
CHRISTINA: Mom, I need fifty dollars!
JOYCE: You what?
BRIAN: I told you, Dad, I needed that new iPod.
CHRISTINA: Mom, Inhuman Sludge is coming to town, I have to GO!!
DAD: IPod? You already have an iPod!
JOYCE: The only thing you have to do, young lady, is learn to manage your money.
BRIAN: But, Dad, this one’s so much smaller and has more room for my music.
DAD: Your spending is out of control, Brian, and when you get home, we’re going to have a talk.
CHRISTINA: But Mom!! Inhuman Sludge is my favorite band, and they NEVER come to town!
BRIAN: Okay, Dad, we’ll talk, but I’ve got something really important to tell you.
JOYCE: I don’t care if Brett Michaels is coming in town, you’re not borrowing money for any concert tickets.
CHRISTINA: Wait, you know who Brett Michaels is?
BRIAN: I’m at the mall, and the electronics store has that flatscreen TV you want on sale!
JOYCE: Of course I know who Brett Michaels is! Don’t you?
RON: The one with the 3D?
BRIAN: And four pairs of 3D glasses!
CHRISTINA: No, but Inhuman Sludge is opening for Brett Michaels.
JOYCE: Brett Michaels is coming here???
RON: Four pairs of 3D glasses?
RON/JOYCE: Hang on a second!
Ron and Joyce hold their hands over the mouthpieces of their phones.
JOYCE: I’m buying concert tickets.
RON: I’m buying a TV.
JOYCE: It’ll bring Christina and me closer.
RON: It’ll bring the whole family closer.
JOYCE: I work very hard for this family.
RON: We both work hard.
JOYCE: We deserve to have a little fun.
RON/JOYCE: We’ll lecture the kids on money later. (pause) Glad you agree!
Ron and Joyce get back on the phones.
RON: Stay where you are, Brian, I’ll be there in twenty.
JOYCE: Hang on, Christina, Mommy’s coming with the money!
Everyone hangs up.
Brian and Christina exit. Ron and Joyce stand.
RON: I’m off to mall.
JOYCE: Care to give me a lift?
RON: Let’s take the Ferrari!
They join hands, Joyce grabs her purse, and they run.